I know I'm preaching to the choir here, of all places, about miscommunication and its affect on, well, EVERYTHING. Family get-togethers that include my husband AND mema usually have something along this line happen: mema says something (anything), husband says “oh, but that's not actually correct, it's this...”, mema doesn't understand the correction only that she's being corrected and she considers the gauntlet thrown and she will not be defeated, husband didn't intend this reaction (debatable, if you ask me), but he will not be defeated either, so they continue back and forth. Really, you guys? Husband – she has no idea what you're talking about & you're fully aware of that, doesn't that mean, on some level, you already won? Just shut up & celebrate in silence. Mema – you have no idea what he's talking about, so why are you arguing an argument for which you have no basis to argue? Just ignore him entirely, go poke the baby & enjoy at least ONE moment in life.
Two days ago I walked into a bookstore, approached the literature section, and walked aisle after aisle looking for just the right book. I passed by a few that might have been, but they did not speak to me, so I walked on. At one of the last aisles, I saw a book that seemed to look straight at me. I picked it up. Nothing was that special about it, but I liked the name. It was called The Alchemist.
I bought it along with few other things.
It started slowly. But as it moved along, it caught me off guard as the events that took place for the main character unfolded in parallel with the life path that I am on. I sobbed and sobbed.
The Alchemist is about a boy who chooses to go on an adventure to find treasure, and because he does, finds his personal legend.
We all want our children to find their own personal legends. We want them to realize their full potential, find their true calling, and live a life that is fulling and optimally happy. Everyone deserves this.
I recommend that every parent and every teacher read this book to learn how to guide the precious children in their lives. And of course, we need to remember our own personal legends, and follow the life paths of our own creation.
A dear friend of mine picked up my book on parenting recently and said, “you know this is going to help a lot of people, you really should get it out there and let people know it exists.”
My book, “Teach Them How To Fish”, is an academic coaching guide for parents. It is a look at what really helps a child be successful in the most organic and natural way possible. It addresses the question, “how can we parents provide the right soil for our children to grow and be nurtured in so that they can rise to the occasion of their own lives in a way that is fulfilling for them?”
It is about doing everything that we can to provide a solid foundation for our children, looking at our own selves to teach by example how to be successful.
I wrote this book after my son successfully entered UC Berkeley School of Law at age 19, which was his goal; I recalled the coaching methods that I utilized to guide him. I also used the same method to help improve the academic standings of other students and clients of mine.
How many of you are multi-lingual? Do any of you know a sign language? What about Korean Sign Language (KSL)? I actually just discovered that there was a KSL about 3 days ago. This semester, I… lucked into taking American Sign Language (ASL). I am a little ashamed to admit that the idea that a KSL existed didn’t even dawn on me until after my Monday night class. For me, ASL has been a life changing experience. I had no idea. Really, I just had NO idea.
This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month so I thought I'd re-share a post I wrote last year.
*Originally posted on 9/30/2011*
Today I attended a conference about intimate partner violence (IPV), or domestic violence (DV). It was the 10th anniversary celebration of some sorts. I don't work directly in the field but my work partners with the folks who do the work.
Why am I writing this post on the Kimchi Mamas blog? First because it's near and dear to my heart and second because Korean women (and their children, wives of Korean men, women of all color, and even some men) continue to be victims of intimate partner violence. I want to do my part to help it stop.
This is a video of a 4th grader (9 years old) going down a 40 meter ski jump for the first time. She has done the 20 meter before. The camera is mounted on her helmet and her coach or dad or some other trusted adult is next to her.
Its amost the tail end of Mental Health Awareness Week and I feel compelled to post about something that happened a few days ago. I'm not sure this is exactly a Kimchi post or even a Mama post except in the general way that mental health impacts everyone including Kimchi Mamas.
Anyhow, if you've read my bio here on KimchiMamas you know that I'm a full time doctoral student who focuses on mental heatlh policy. What you probably don't know is that my choice to enter a doctoral program was purely survival. After finishing up my masters I was left with an advanced degree in a job market that was flooded with people with their own advanced degrees; I got second interviews but never any real job leads. We had bills to pay so while loans is not my prefered way to get by, its better than not getting by at all. While I may have been pushed into a PhD program out of necessity; I want to make it clear that I fully embraced the more specific field of mental health.
What creates a successful human being? What kind of parenting does a human being need to become truly successful in his or her life? We all want wealth, health,happiness, a loving family life, and self-fulfillment for our children. Some may focus on one aspect more than others, but deep inside, they all want their children to have truly authentic happiness.
I met a Korean-American business man on the flight home from El Paso. He was soft spoken, highly intelligent, and seemed acutely self-aware. Michael, like me, had come to America in his early teens, and was thoroughly Americanized. He straddles the fence of the two cultures that he has grown up in, understanding and seeing things in both ways.
Apparently, many South Koreans are taking that to... the
knife. Smile surgeries, such as the Smile-Lipt, are one of the latest
fads in Seoul surgery. For a mere $2,000, you, too, can smile forever.
I always wanted to look more Korean (I live in Alaska, most
people think I'm Alaska Native), but it seems that Koreans want to look
less Korean? Eyelid surgery was always known to us; Mema had double
eyelid surgery. Make-up tattoos have been known of for a while; Mema
said she wanted to "always wake up looking beautiful". These were things
known, but never spoken of. Double eyelid surgery is, allegedly, so
commonplace now that they don't even refer to it as surgery anymore.
And it's not just for women! South Korea has the HIGHEST number of
plastic surgeries per capita. There's even one of those tumblr pages dedicated to it. Is K-pop to blame?