Korean women and jewelry: Like fish to water

My mom loves her some jewelry. That, combined with the fact that she is a compulsive shopper, usually means that whenever I see her, she's shoving a ring or a necklace my way. (By the way, in the previous sentence you can replace all jewelry-related words with "purse," "shoes," "pashminas" and/or, to make it easier, "accessories.")

My mom likes to rock the bling.  Let's just say her taste is a little Versace-esque and mine is...not. 

Glennia, my friend SuperGena, and I were gabbing about this at a party the other night.  What is it about our (Korean) mothers and jewelry?  Glennia's mom will wear multiple necklaces at a time and so does my mom. What's that all about? They don't even match.

SuperGena's mom will go grocery shopping in her diamonds and sapphires.

My mom and her friends buy jewelry off each other.  This is a totally Asian thing.  If you don't wear your pearls anymore you call your friends and tell them that you are selling them and someone will be there with a check in hand before happy hour. Because even though they have a bunch of jewelry they don't wear, they need that pearl necklace.  And in 15 years, the person who sold it to you will buy it back.

My mom also says stuff like, "Don't you ever insure your jewelry.  Then the insurance people will know what you have and will come rob your house."  Really, it's hard not to roll your eyes.

My mom buys most things with the justification that someday it will go to someone else. Me, my sisters, her granddaughters. Except that now she's just saying shit like, "Here. Take this ring. It's a real aquamarine, you know. I'm going to die someday so you wear it."

Except that I don't wear giant football-shaped aquamarines. The last time I saw her I told her, "Mom, I'm 37 and I don't feel comfortable wearing stuff like this."

She gave me the look.

"What, did you feel comfortable wearing stuff like this when you were 37?"

Her response? "Shoot, I used to wear stuff like that when I was 18."

So, I've been wearing the rock on my hand. With my sweats. With my jeans and t-shirts.  Even though it's so not me, it's really fun. Because every time I look at it I think of my mom "working it" as a teenager and I laugh.

—Stefania Pomponi Butler

Comments

[steen]

My mom has a thing for designer stuff and jewelry as well. She's mostly into rings and clothing, although I think a lot of that has faded since she moved to Arkansas and lives on a much less extravagant income. Still, growing up, she always had this 24k gold rings with large marquis-cut stones and Louis Vuitton stuff.

[halfmama]

This cracked me up. There really is something about Koreans and their bling. My parents used to own a jewelry store and I think I'm mentally allergic to jewelry because of it. I wear my wedding ring now and that's it. Whenever I wore costume jewelry, my mom would stare me down until I hung my head and took it off.

And the insurance company bit — HA!! There's something about Koreans and their paranoia too.

[Mama Nabi]

Gawd, you should see this huge emerald ring my mom's had ever since I can remember - that thing is HUGE! Funny, never thought much of it before but I do remember my mom and her friends having some kind of jewelry parties just like tupperware parties. Even in Bangladesh, she had her own jeweler who'd come by every time he had anything new to show her.
On a more somber note, when my dad decided to be a philanthropist with ALL his money, my mom had to start selling her jewelry to her Chinese friend to make ends meet and also keep sending us to our boarding school. I think it broke her heart to part with many of the pieces. Hm, that might explain why my sister recently gave my mom her rings from her previous marriage.
Isn't it funny how you can't find 24K gold jewelry in the US but go to Asia...

[Mama Nabi]

Gawd, you should see this huge emerald ring my mom's had ever since I can remember - that thing is HUGE! Funny, never thought much of it before but I do remember my mom and her friends having some kind of jewelry parties just like tupperware parties. Even in Bangladesh, she had her own jeweler who'd come by every time he had anything new to show her.
On a more somber note, when my dad decided to be a philanthropist with ALL his money, my mom had to start selling her jewelry to her Chinese friend to make ends meet and also keep sending us to our boarding school. I think it broke her heart to part with many of the pieces. Hm, that might explain why my sister recently gave my mom her rings from her previous marriage.
Isn't it funny how you can't find 24K gold jewelry in the US but go to Asia...

[Glennia]

My mom's justification for her bling obsession, "I'm old, so I need to be decorated." Like a Christmas tree, evidently!

When my husband and I were dating, we went on a trip to Aruba together. He offered to buy me a ring that I was looking at that had some small emeralds in it. I passed, because I thought it was too extravagant. I told my mom about this, and she said, "You're not my daughter! I thought I raised you better than that...someone offers you jewelry, you take it, silly girl!"

After that, I never turned down jewelry again. It's all in a safety deposit box, since you know, the robbers...

[kimchijigae]

This is a nice complement to the "so wealthy" contest entry over at Rice Daddies

[Angie in Texas]

Mom doesn't wear too much bling - she comes from very humble beginnings . . . but man she loves her 24 K gold! When I got my wedding rings she was confused as to why I would "want" platinum . . . Speaking of the paranoid korean: i don't know where any of her jewelry is . . .

[Nina]

The Korean women in my family aren't into flashy jewelry (my white grandmother takes the cake on that one - she's always dripping in diamonds, baby!), but I've noticed this about some of my friends' moms.

The paranoia thing though...I totally get that. You know my halmoni hides the toilet paper because she's afraid our housekeeper (who has been with us for almost 20 years and is like my second mommmy for goodness sake!) is going to swipe it. It's absolutely ridiculous! And a little sad. But also a little funny. To her credit, my halmoni doesn't know our nanny like we do. She moved in with my parents after I was in college, and I think Koreans don't have any pretensions to being classless and all egalitarian like us Americans do.

[Your Mamma]

It's all about competition when you are younger. Have you ever experienced 'the look' when attending a Korean function? Up and down and up and down again! Now that I'm a halmoni, my precious jewels are my grandchildren. And, believe me, the 'good stuff' is still with me not to be dispersed until I can't wear them anymore! I wear my mother's jewelry because it keeps her with me and I hope you will do the same.

I can also see that Bunny will love my taste in jewels so guess who will get them all? : )

Your omoni

[Summer]

This is so funny! I have a pearl necklace that my mother-in-law gave me that is gorgeous, but too big for everyday wear, she told my husband when I visit next, to bring it and she would give me a bigger better piece.

Not used to it by any means (I grew up with the belief that the Avon jewelry was the stuff to have) and it has been a tough transition, but hey, jewelry does make a difference in the Korean social scene.

[CityMama]

God I'm just so glad you all understand. It's nice to have this outlet. My non-Korean friends would probably think my family is nuts, but here, we're "normal!"

[korean jewelry]

china jewelry market provide various jewlery online wholesale from china market.

[s park]

I like your website, you're a good writer. Can you contact me please. I am introducing a new brand (from the US) to Korea and have questions you may have some insight into. Thanks....