What's in a passport?

I've had a passport since I was 8 years old.  I've also been plagued by "visa issues" from the very beginning.  Even before international travel was overshadowed by imminent threats of terrorism and general unruly behaviors while on an aircraft, the mere thought of renewing a visa would cause spastic hand-wringing accompanied by hyperventilation while in a fetal position.

I remember having to sit in an Indian consulate's office while a stern looking man (it was always a man and he always looked stern) measured our worthiness, asking us tricky questions designed to somehow reveal our utter unworthiness, worrying that we'd be rejected. 

Once I graduated from college here in the U.S., I was given 60 days to find and start a job that was related to my degree.  Then, once my one year work permit (called Optional Practical Training) expired, I had to apply for an H1B visa.  To do so, I had to prove that I possessed an expertise that could not be matched by an ordinary U.S. citizen: not just any expertise, but expertise in my college degree, in this case English Lit and Creative Writing - in a drycleaning machine parts and equipment company.  Thank goodness for Korean drycleaners - I obtained a visa due to the fact that not only did I write the company's brochures and pamphlets, I also translated them for our Korean customers. 

Stop, you say, the key word here is 'Optional' - no one forced you to stay here and go through the stress of visa application so what's with the whining?

Anyone who is also a third culture kid may already know the answer.  It would have been different if I had been educated in Korean or if I had originally come from an English speaking country.  The transition would have still been full of bumps but I wouldn't be struggling to catch up on my language skills before I could find myself a job. 

Don't think I didn't try to return home.  I did.  Every time, my mother objected and pushed me to stay here; she didn't want me to give up all those years of my life - What good is it to have studied abroad just to come back here and be forced to start over? Last time was when my graduate student visa was rejected by a U.S. consulate who thought I, as a Korean woman, was too old to still be studying; I was 26 years old.  I offered to stay in Korea.  My mother vehemently rejected that idea; I was too outspoken, no family would allow their son to marry someone like me, the only job for me would be teaching English... I would be miserable until I died.  And what about all the sacrifices she made to give me my education?

So.  Here I am.  Still here.  As of last year, I was officially a U.S. Permanent Resident.  Meanwhile, Papa Nabi lost two friends.  One called me a "mail-order bride".  Another, JS, had wanted to hook up with me before PN and I got together... I had said no, knowing that he's a player, that he lived with his long-time girlfriend.  JS accused me of marrying PN for my green card, bet me that our marriage would only last as long as it took for me to get my residency, and then told me that I was obviously too well educated to be with someone like PN, that he himself would have been a better match for me.  I told PN that JS was no longer allowed in our home.  I believe that the last time PN ever talked to JS was when he announced that we were having a baby.  JS may be out there thinking, Man, that woman is determined to get her green card.

All that hubbub over where one gets to live.  There was a time when I so wanted to be back in Korea, to be married to a Korean man, even if I had to suffer through a Korean MIL's wrath or judgmental eyes... 

I called the Korean Embassy today - I wanted to get some information on renewing my passport and about visa stipulations for PN and Little Nabi.  The friendly voice on the other side told me that, indeed, even LN will need to get a visa if we were to stay in Korea for more than 30 days.  And no, there is no such thing as a dual citizenship agreement between Korea and U.S. but maybe there will be someday. 

People like my FIL would automatically assume that it's an easy decision; when the time comes, I should decide to renounce my Korean nationality for a U.S. one.  Not so fast.  I am somewhat attached to my Korean citizenship, despite the fact that I've never been able to vote in Korea and traveling is more cumbersome with a Korean passport.  It also empowers me when I am around Eurocentric Americans who think that, if I were a U.S. citizen, I have no business being so obsessed with passing on Korean culture to LN.  If it weren't for my Korean citizenship at the time of LN's birth, FIL would have also criticized LN's Korean middle name; he said so in those exact words.

Granted, with or without Korean citizenship, I don't think I would neglect teaching and showing LN Korean culture, it is strangely comforting - this bane of imprisonment by national borders.  In an ideal, and utopic (i.e. virtually impossible), world, people would carry ID cards acceptable anywhere in the world and be able to choose where to live despite nationalities - of course, in this world, there will be no such designation as 'third world country'; every nation will have certain opportunities with equal economic power as the others.  Yeah, did someone call me a communist?

Today, as I sat behind my steering wheel, waiting for my vehicle to warm up, I noticed that someone had scratched the letters "FOB" on the stop sign in front of our house (it's a corner house).  I don't know how long it's been there.  I don't even know if the writer meant FOB as in Fresh Off the Boat or if it's some gang thing or just someone's initials.  Even if it meant Fresh Off the Boat, it may not be, and probably isn't, intended for me.

For odd reasons that I haven't quite figured out, I actually smiled and acknowledged that yes, I guess I am FOB... I guess, in a sense, I will be FOB everywhere I go... but in Korea, although I will be considered a gyopo, I will be one of them/us.

P.S.  Just to screw with my in-laws, maybe I will tell them that we're working on getting LN a Korean citizenship.  Now that'd be a hoot.

Comments

[myuneuri]

Funny this topic should come up today. My husband has applied for Canadian citizenship and is still waiting on the sluggish Canuck bureacracy to get his paperwork moving. Canada allows dual citizenship, but Korea doesn't. I didn't want him to give his Korean citizenship up, because it is an important part of him. My current idea is to simply not tell the Korean gov't he applied for Canadian citizenship since Canada does not require you to renunciation of your birth citizenship. On the other hand, part of me wants for him to experience what it is like to stand in the weigookin line up at Incheon :)

We didn't apply for Korean citizenship for either daughter since the Korean government has been screwing around with the law lately regarding dual citizen children. The F series visas will give them freedom to live and work in Korea later if they wish anyway.

[Rachel]

I totally understand why you would want to keep your Korean citizenship, because it's so integral to your identity. But I (selfishly) wish more immigrants would become citizens so they could vote. I think the U.S. would be a better place if more immigrants voted. Too bad there isn't a way to have dual citizenship.

[Mama Nabi]

To be honest, voting would be the only reason convincing enough for me to give up my Korean citizenship... however, I also think that there could be a provision in which Permanent Residents could vote. I mean, I live here, I am affected by the politics, and (damn it) I pay into social security.

[Sandra]

I have dual citizenship with the U.S. and the U.K., well... the U.S. doesn't acknowledge the U.K. citizenship and the U.K. just doesn't care. My mom was still a Korean citizen when I was born, so I guess I could technically claim that too? In all I have 3 birth certificates, two passports, a social security card, and naturalization papers to prove that I am me. Its crazy trying to fill out forms.

[honglien123]

I've lived in the US since I was nearly 4 years old. I'm still not a citizen. I've been a permanent resident since the beginning but I'd been reluctant to apply for US citizenship. Not just because you have to deal with the cumbersome USCIS (aka INS), but because, I guess, I still don't consider myself fully American; although I definitely don't consider myself fully Viet either. The rest of my family are already US citizens but I only applied this last December after much grumbling and conceded because I want those things you talked about, ease of travel and voting rights (I feel a tiny bit of guilt that I wasn't able to vote in the 2000 and 2004 elections). Still, I doubt that I would feel any different after it happens. I doubt I would feel any more American or any less Viet. I guess, I don't think citizenship and cultural loyalty can be proven with a little booklet or piece of paper.

[Angie in Texas]

i had my korean passport up until i was almost 19 . . . that's almost 16 years of permanent residency!

in the end, i'm glad i decided to naturalize - i can vote and i do recognize that i am american. . . but that didn't stop me from using boht korean and american passports until the korean one expired . . . .

[carol]

Wow ... how gracious of your in-laws to let you "get away with" holding onto your culture! I guess walking around in a hanbok everyday is out of the question :-D

I feel awful, on top of everything else that you have to deal with, that your marriage is questioned and scrutinized, even by people who are supposedly your spouse's good friends. We deal with this too, by people who don't know that my husband has always had a blue passport. They just assume. But we have friends who deal with this all the time, the jokes, the insinuations.

I completely understand why you want to hold on to that part of your identity. I'm having a hard time deciding whether to drop my maiden name, simply because if I lose it I will no longer have anything Korean, what little I have, in my "official" self.

[Swan]

Just wanted to de-lurk and add my $1.99 here

I am a permanent resident alien. When My SO and I were seriously discussing marriage while living in Japan, both being US military, I had to obtain a passport(some crazy requirement). I was told by the Korean Consulate AND the US Consulate that neither would help me settle my passport issue.

Korea basically said, well, you've always lived in the US, you pay US taxes, you're serving in the US military, you might as well be American. Heck, you don't even speak Korean!

The US said despite spending the majority of my life in the US, knowing US history better than most HS graduates, being fluent in English, paying taxes, and being active duty US military, I'm still technically a Korean citizen.

Sigh. So we cancelled getting married on this technicality. I could have gotten a free trip to Hawaii from Japan for getting my US citizenship, but I was the only person that was running my entire department - there was no time for me to go to Hawaii. While being active duty, I could travel on my military ID, bypassing the passport issue.

But I still have my SO and marriage plans are still shelved. But I want to travel around the globe and the easiest way to do that is to obtain my US citizenship, put up with the BS from INS, and carry on being an Americanised Korean or a Korean-Lookin' American, depending what I feel like when I wake up.

But I do not feel any less Korean while going for my US citizenship. I'm probably gonna keep my last name if the SO and I get around to getting hitched(because his last name combined with my first name is the auditory equivalent of chewing on tin foil), and no little blue book will erase my geneology/heritage, my family, and how I grew up. When I travel to Korea, I'm still expected to be Korean(though I fail rather miserably at this - My American-ness is always showing!).

Yeah, the SO and I make jokes about me sticking around so I can "stay" in this country, but we also joke about me waiting to get orders from Kim Jong Il's bad hairdo to kill him in his sleep and return to N. Korea.

We don't have (potential) racial slurs being posted around our house. Our friends and us spend more time hanging out, keeping an eye on the kids, than making racial jokes and insinuations. Which reminds me, we're gonna go to the Rennaissance Faire next week. Anybody calling me a "Bride of Ming" is about to get their codpiece ripped off.

And now, back to lurking...

[Linda B]

My goodness, I didn't realize how complicated things could get. I can see why you wouldn't want to give up your Korean citizenship.

I'm surprised you didn't punch PN's friends in the face.

[Linda B]

Sorry for the second comment. I should have consolidated.

Carol, many of my Korean gilfriends married to non-Koreans and my Caucasian girlfriends married to Korean men keep their last names because it is the only thing that holds their identities (besides the obvious, their looks). I can completely understand why even though I married a Korean guy. I didn't even want to change MY last name to his, just because I wanted to hold on to what I could of my own family.

[kim]

Mama Nabi - Just wanted to say yay for Korean middle names! Em has one too and I love the fact that it's a lasting and legal "reminder" of sorts of her Korean heritage. Hubby has one as well - they're making me feel left out for the lack of a hyphen. :)