Hi. It only took me five tries to log in to typepad, which is pretty good considering I can't even remember the last time I posted here. I've been absent from all blogging for quite a while but I've continued to read my favorites, including this awesome blog right here. A lot has happened during my sabbatical, including having my MIL here for another extended stay. My favorite topic of discussion, it seems. I've got some pretty good stories saved up for y'all.
Anyways, I just wanted to drop in and say "Hello! I still exist!"
To ease into things, I thought I would post this funny forward that was sent to me recently. This made me laugh outloud, mostly because right after I read this, my mother called and told me to go stock up on rice asap!
I think any Asian/Pacific Islander can relate to some of these.
Childhood memories... How you know you have Asian Parents when....
1.Your mom keeps her rubberbands around the kitchen/sink faucet handles
2. Your mom uses water and an old rag to clean everything
3. Your mom has a bag of frozen anchovies (meh-ruh-chee) in the freezer
4. Your parents have a free calendar hung on their wall from church or the local Korean market.
5.Your mom randomly tells you what their friends' kids have done, especially if they did something good for their parents. You feel like they are comparing you to them..which they are.
6. A date night for your parents, is lying in theelectronic heated blanket with thick puffy faux fur korean blankets in the living room watching Korean videos. 7. When going to the beach with your mom, she's covered from head to toe with her 10-inch sun visor, her robotech sunglasses, lightweight jackets and such. In fact, they will most likely drive to the beach, look at the water, say 'Cho-TAH!!!' and then drive back home after one hour..
8. If your parents call you 'Kah-She-Nah' or 'Jah-Sheek' if you haven't called them in over a week and then feel guilty about it
12. When you were in 1st grade, your parents used rice instead of buying Elmer's glue
13. Your mom has a collection of empty kimchee jars for future use, big rubber basins in the backyard for makingkimchee, a gallon of koh-choo-jang and a 20lb bag of rice. Your dad will even comment on the koh-choo-jang or kim being really good b/c it's from korea but you can't tell the difference.
14. You wash your dishes by hand (only using the dishwasher on special occasions)
15. Your parents rarely show teeth or have big smiles in pictures
16. You get straight A's on your report card with one A- or B+ . Your parents are really worried about the A- or B+, say do better next time and pray about it. 17. A kid gets into an Ivy League school and their parents are touted as being the greatest parents ever!
18. When your mom cooks, she never measures anything. And when you ask her how much you should put it in...she says 'ah...you know. a little bit here. a little there. just taste.'
19. If someone walks into a room/house with shoes on, it makes you highly uncomfortable and nervous.
20. Your parents are looking for a toothpick after they've eaten at a restaurant. When they find one, they cover their mouths with one hand while picking their teeth with the other.
21. Your parents have lived in the U.S. for over 20+ years, and they still don't vote.
22. Your church parking lot has more Lexus, BMW, and Mercedes cars than the local dealership
23. Your dad or mom planted > > something in your front yard, backyard, wherever there's dirt - they'll plant and grow. Lettuce? Corn? Something...
24. When you're around your parents, your tone changes and you speak like a baby or little kid 'Uhhhhh-MMMMMaaaaahhhhHHHHH! Nah beh goo pahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!'
25. If you are a girl, you spend $150-$250 getting a straight pah-mah to make your hair look 'naturally' straight.
26. When you go to the beach for a bbq, camping or an amusement park, your parents bring the 3 golden Ks - kimchee, kalbi, kimbab
27. Your parents have embarrassed you in public before by their mannerisms (dad yelling too loud 'Eun Jung AHHHH!!! YUH-GEE-WAH!!!', parents swearing in broken English at another driver)
28. Your parents are part of some sort of social group. It usually involves secret group money collecting/exchange.
29. Getting toilet paper, toothpaste, or any highly practical item is an appropriate and wise prize during team games
30. When eating a grilled fish, your mom eats the fishhead and eyeballs like it's filet mignon
31. Your mom always dresses up when going out of the house. At home, she dresses like a homeless woman wearing your old clothes/sweats and mismatching.
32. Your mom works more than full-time, cleans, cooks homemade meals, sews, serves, is always go, go, go and worries so much that she nags you about what you're going to do with your life. Your dad has never cooked or washed dishes in the kitchen but man, when it's time to grill that kalbi....he's all over that!
33. You communicate through your mom what you need to tell your dad and vice-versa
34. Your dad is always on the couch after work, quietly reading the Korean newspaper or watching the Korean news/videos.
35. The Korean newspaper is the 2nd bible to your parents.
36. Your mom knows a friend, who had a friend, who had a friend....that something bad happened to therefore, you need to listen to your parents and do as they tell you althought there is no logical connection whatsoever to the story they just told you (usually that 'friend' is just a news article they read from the Korean newspaper)
37. Your dad would explode and yell with a passion about once every few months or year. The rest of the time, he's quietly reading the newspaper.
38. Your parents never paid for napkins...they just took a whole stack from mcdonald's, restaurants...etc.
39. When you were younger and at a restaurant with another korean family, your parents would fight over the bill...usually the dads...they start grabbing it out of the hand and/or try to pay and the other one pulls him down going ...'ah yai..yai..yai...'. sometimes this back and forth process will take 15 min. - everyone else waiting until the parents duke it out and pay.
40. Your parents always eat some sort of fruit for dessert...apples, asian pear, oranges...and your mom peels the apple skin, the > > core and slices it into 'crescent' shape pieces.
41. you just love, love, love them korean faux fur blankets.
42. There is some piece of Korean furniture in the house somewhere like a folding korean table or a black ebony chest with cranes all over it.
43. Your mom has bulk packs of Korean nylon knee high stockings - and wears them with sandals
44. You've been called an 'Ee-nuhm-ja-sheek' or 'Kah-she-nah' by your parents many times in your life
45. You eat seaweed soup on your bday prepared by your uhmah!
46. When you or guests are leaving your parents' house, they wait for you to get into the car and leave before they go back in the house. Won't close the door, until you're gone. Doesn't matter if it's freezing cold outside...they'll linger and wait until you're gone first before they go back in the house.
47. Your mom has/had short-permed hair
48. You have an aunt (emo) that always slips you a $100 bill when they see you. They try to do it discreetly too which makes it all super secretive but then your mom sees and says 'aii...uhnee' and your aunt goes 'ah..tehsuh..tehsuh..'
49. Your parents have told you that you will die in the middle of the night if you leave the fan running....
50. Your parents ALWAYS want you to stay home and not go out - read a book instead, etc.
51. When you ask your parents if they need help, and they say no, but they really mean 'yes! don't ask, just do it'.
52. Your parents eat kimchee with their spaghetti