... but not in any order of importance.
Let's talk about s*x, baby.
Hi, my name is Mama Nabi, I'm going through a messy divorce, and I haven't been laid for over 2 years.
And, stangely enough - or not so strange, perhaps, I haven't missed it. Or, let's say, I haven't had the time or energy to miss it.
I don't know if it's particularly because I come from a culture that, at least on the surface, represses s*x in the media and its society... but I do have a funny story to relate:
When I was about 16, my mom took me along to visit her friends. They began to play hwa-to - since my mom deemed the game inappropriate for young girls, I chose to take a little nap on the floor next to them.
I don't know how long I was napping but when I awoke, they were gossiping about a friend of theirs whose overweight husband died on top of her during s*x. This was juicy so I kept my eyes closed. Turns out she had to call the emergency number to get help and policemen had to pry her husband off and out of her. (Sorry about the PG16 content - well, for my mom, I think this was PG until whenever-you-get-married, so in my case, 32.)
They were amazed that this friend was still having 'it'. One of them said something like, I never liked it... once the kids were born, I said the hell with it... and my mom added that once you get to a certain age, it's not that interesting any more.
Then one of them whispered Shhh, what if your daughter hears us? My mom assured them, She won't even know what we're talking about. My girls are very innocent, they don't know such things.
Ah... to be sweet (and innocent) sixteen again. Ha. Ha.
Anyway, I bring this up because, as some of you know, I recently moved out of the house with Little Nabi. Papa Nabi firmly refused to move out, insisted that we do some weird separation thang under the same roof and things were getting more tense by the day. As soon as I had moved out, my mom called me and told me that this was now all over since we're now living in separate houses.
No, Mom, this is the beginning... we still have a lot to process and figure out legally.
Mom: Oh, but you're not in the same house so he'll leave you alone... so from now on, your life should focus on [LN]. Not that you're likely to meet anyone worthy of being [LN]'s new father but even if you do, don't even think about stuff like that. You don't have time to meet men. All your time will now devote to [LN].
Hmmm. I mean, I was planning on doing that... but I was wondering if she thought PN and I were still doing the nasty during these trying times... because it sort of sounded like, "From now on, no more s*x for you."
I was told later by my sister that my mom also called her wondering if I was already seeing someone, concerned that I'm out there dating again and then asked her to keep an eye on me so I wouldn't date.
Aigo. I suppose, she thinks a divorced mama has no place in the dating scene... She can be very old fashioned, even by Korean standards!
I also mentioned to my mom that I was returning a small frying pan (big enough for an egg) to PN because he's left numerous voicemails to me and to my attorney regarding this frying pan he wanted back... plus other things.
Her comment? How petty! At least a Korean man would have let you have all the cooking things!
Ah... in times of turmoil, at least I have my mom to both frustrate and entertain me...