The Multiracial American Family

Thanks to our commenter Kristen for pointing this out, I caught her comment about MSNBC featuring coverage on being Multiracial in America. There are six video vignettes of individual families from various parts of the U.S., from Alabama to California and in between. I watched all of them. Their stories are so different but so familiar, too. I don't know how long it's been there, or how much longer it will be available, so I encourage you to take a look. (Note, it does not include the perspectives of a family made multiracial through adoption or of a multi-racial family with same-sex parents, but many resounding themes are woven throughout each family's story.)

I'm so glad this is being discussed more and more in mainstream media. I don't constantly ponder what it means to be a Korean-American, a woman, a mom, in an inter-racial marriage and raising a multi-racial family. I don't see myself as doing anything extraordinary, my marriage and family are not a political platform. We're just a family. But I know I get to say that because I am a beneficiary of the work that had been done by brave activists before us. I am grateful that I don't have to fight today to justify my marriage or have to endure my child being called an abomination (at least not to my face), with no recourse or rights.

But I don't think about these things often. Most of the time, I just go about my days quietly and uneventfully, endless grocery store runs, putting the little one down for a nap, and these days trying to find a new job that will enable me to also be a mom. A whole lot of normalcy here. But there is always that tension - not necessarily a bad thing, but something that is there, like white noise in the background. It's helpful for me to have it brought to the surface, not necessarily screaming it from rooftops, guns a-blazin' and fists raised in the air, but getting a glimpse into the introspection we all go through in making our choices. Learning about other everyday families, living with and loving each other, just being, like us.

--Carol

Comments

[Asianmommy]

That's interesting. About half of my friends have married outside of their race. I never really thought their lives were any different from mine. We're all women, and moms. Multiracial families seem commonplace to me. I'm glad the media is finally taking notice.

[Swan]

"...not necessarily screaming it from rooftops, guns a-blazin' and fists raised in the air..."

I am just cracking up, picturing you atop of your domicile, doing a little Yosemite Sam routine hollering "We're a Multiracial family! Ya hoo! Yippie Kai Yay!"

In all seriousness though, I find that being human or at least pointing out the similarities between me and other racially/culturally different folks, tends to make people perceive me as one of them rather than some complicated alien being. It's about time that the media took off the blinders and realize that people from different racial backgrounds can fall in love and have families, not to mention, have absolutely, stunningly beautiful children.

Funny how the first notorious inter-racial couple(meaning they flaunted the law that banned inter-racial marriages) in the US, the husband's last name was Loving.

[blackbelt]

I go about living my days, too, in the mostly white world that I live in. But when I am around others "like me," that's when I realize how much I have been missing. I see how much MORE I have in common with them than the middle America folks I usually find myself with.

Grace

[Carol]

Grace/blackbelt: totally get what you're saying ... I also feel a big void or emptiness, not sure if that's quite the right way to put it. I also don't see myself or my family reflected back day after day. It can be numbing until you're reminded of that.

[Monkeytoemomma]

Thanks, Carol! I loved that segment!
I am a product of multiracial marriage. My mom is Korean. My dad was German/Irish. I married a man of a multiracial marriage. His mom is an American Heinz 57 but mostly Irish with some Cherokee Indian. His Father is Lebanese. We have four beautiful girls of diverse background. I'm proud of who I am, who I married and who I birthed. However, I hate filling out forms where they ask for "race" or "ethnic background" (PLEASE CHECK ONE). I never know how to fill in one when I'm not just one, and my children are not just one. I just fill in as many as necessary and let them figure it out.

[Emily]

Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed all the stories. My husband is Korean (I am white) and while we have not had children yet I do think about what our children will experience growing up as hapas. I hope they feel pride it their bi-racial home and that having Korean and American culture will open their minds to people of all backgrounds.

[Angela]

I'll have to check this out...I'm Chinese, my husband is Irish Italian, and we live with our toddler in Manhattan, surrounded by people and families of all races, colors, sizes...you name it, they're here. Like you, I don't give our multi-racial family a second thought...until we venture out of the city and into the real "America." And then I get nervous, and my defense mechanisms kick in. And I always feel like people are staring. Maybe it's a result of being one of the only Asians in the deep south for a few years in high school, and having to endure the ignorant, and sometimes racist comments during a vulnerable period in my life. But I tell you, I'm always so much more at ease when I cross the bridge back into Manhattan, or safely land in a NY-area airport.

[Kristen]

Angela, it's funny you say that you feel safer in Manhattan or anywhere near a NY airport. I also feel a sense of higher security & safety in the city, when most statistics show that cities have more violent episodes. I guess that's saying I feel safer with a gang-banger than with a redneck.

[alilyinthevalley]

We live in Las Vegas, and it is truly the most comfortable city in the West for our little mixed up family. The last time we were in L.A., we felt the stares. Vegas has an amazing mix of interracial couples and families. We don't stick out like a sore thumb.

[Kannadian]

Thank you for the link. I've been thinking about how my decision to marry outside my ethnic group will have effects on my future family and these videos really helped me get a better understanding of what others face in their daily lives. Thanks again.