My Big Fat Korean Wedding?

I just read this over at angry asian man:

In the vein of "Meet the Parents" and inspired by real events, the pitch follows an American guy who falls in love with a Korean woman while teaching English as a second language. He proposes marriage and she says yes, with a condition: Her Korean family must approve and they must have a traditional wedding in Korea. So the groom makes the trip with his family in an effort to marry his true love.  (from the hollywoodreporter.com)

What would it take for this to be a white American woman and a Korean man, huh?

I took the easy way out of negotiating wedding traditions - eloped to Vegas, baby!

What kinds of comedy/horror stories have you experienced around Korean weddings?

~ eliaday

Comments

[Kate C.]

Caucasian woman, Asian man here! Married for going on 4 years, been together for 8. We didn't meet in Korea but we had our own set of hurdles to clear with his parents. Mine were totally fine with it. :)

[Joanne]

Canadian white woman and Korean Korean man - met in Canada and married in Korea. We too opted to elope so that first of three weddings would actual be ours. The second two, one in Korea and one in Canada could then be for respective family and friends. Families weren't thrilled but they were supportive.

[Brad]

I met a fantastic Korean girl. It was all approved by parents and grandparents. They where really happy.

But I got rejected by the Monk and what the monk says goes.

BTW we where going to have 2 weddings, one in Korea and one here.

[beloved]

My Korean Korean husband and I have been married to death. :) Once at the embassy immediately before our honeymoon to Thailand. Actually, the paperwork didn't quite get finished so (shh!! don't tell my parents) we went on our honeymoon before we officially tied the knot. Oops...
Another (small) ceremony in the U.S. and then a full-on wedding hall wedding in Korea. I'd always said I wanted to get married in jeans with little fanfare and I got my wish, but truthfully, the wedding hall wedding in Korea was the MOST fun. I loved every minute of it--except maybe for having to wait in that stall on display right before the ceremony. That was kind of brutal (and boring).

[Alexis]

Any marriage can work if you have the right guidence.

[Krees]

White American woman and Korean-American man here, too. Things started out poorly. I believe it went something like, "We don't care if you're happy. We'd rather see you in a piss-poor relationship with a Korean girl." Fortunately, a little bowing and greetings to his grandmother in Korean, plus excellent horoscope compatibility (we're four years apart), and Halmeoni proclaimed me marriage material. When Halmeoni's happy, everybody's happy!

As for the wedding itself, we had great fun. We had a fairly traditional American church wedding performed in both English and Korean. What a great coincidence that one of the ministers in residence was Korean! Then paebaek and lots of dried dates caught at the reception. His family appreciated incorporation of the Korean customs, and the Americans enjoyed seeing it all, too.

I'd definitely go see the Jason Filardi movie!

[Angie in Texas]

my "wedding" was at the county courthouse (white American man, Korean woman), but my older brother's wedding (Korean man, Latina woman) had a korean pastor who kept saying "breast", "compete" and "ling" instead of "best", "complete" and "ring". . . it was a beautiful wedding with lots of giggling among the wedding party.

(and of course there was lots of Crown at the reception!) =D

[Carson's Mom]

White woman married to Korean Korean man - from a very conservative and traditional family. They were surprised when DH told them and asked if he'd like them to arrange a marriage to a nice Korean girl instead. He said no and we were married twice - a big wedding in the States and an even bigger wedding (500 guests?) in Korea. It's been 10 yrs and a lot of craziness....

[joelsa]

Cloaked in anonymity, I guess it's easier for me to rail on my MIL. ha ha I would have been more than happy to elope but both my husband and I felt an obligation to please our families. Every decision I made was in consideration of, will this piss off my MIL? So my family bought my husband a rolex, a suit, shirt and tie (but no socks or shoes or else he might run away, the old saying goes), we bought my MIL her hanbok, and my sister in law new clothes. My mom paid for the entire reception. We paid to get everyone's hair done too. While we were at the salon, my MIL did not like my SIL's hairdo and she kept telling the stylist to fix it. My SIL liked it and the stylist said it looked good. Finally, my mom said, "I think it looks good too. Perhaps you should just let her be." For the rest of the day, my MIL had a sour look of her face (great for our wedding photos!) and refused to talk to my mom for months. After we got back from our honeymoon, we flew out to Iowa to "eensa" to my MIL. I have to believe that Korean Koreans are more progressive than my MIL right??? I hope???

[Susan C.]

Korean american girl married to white american namja. My parents were generally ok with my husband, thought he was a nice guy, decent job...they were more worried about the language barrier and that he might possibly be a mama's boy...(he is). My mom had a rough time with her MIL, major shee-jeep-sal, so she thought I might have an easier time marrying into a non-Korean family...turns out in-laws are in-laws...

[Angie in Texas]

joelsa: lol! i haven't thought about the socks and shoe thing in a really long time.

susan c.: sadly, sometimes in-laws are in-laws. =/

[Sean in CA]

Chinese man (who gets mistaken for Korean) and Korean woman (who get mistaken for being anything but Korean) have just been married in November of last year. I always thought I would marry her, but I don't think she really considered it until her Hameoni told every in the family we were getting married. I love her grandma!

It was a tough eight years before we actually tied the knot, but for both of us it's been a relief since. Her father wasn't really supportive until maybe two years ago. I couldn't even walk in their home until three years ago. Korean fathers are really conservative, but perserverence eventually wins them over. lol. Now, I just need to really learn more Korean besides knowing only the hello and food names.

The wedding was an American style wedding because I don't think we would've been able to accomodate for the Chinese banquet with the Korean style wedding. Plus, if it was up to us we would've had the papers and have the wedding in a nice backyard somewhere, but her parents really wanted to see us walk down the aisle.

First became interested in Korean women because of the Kpop music. If interested, check out my playlist of June week 4 top 47 Korean songs. http://www.imeem.com/people/NT7LuqI/playlist/SGtBdnh4/soompi_june_week_4_music_playlist/

[Cris]

american-ecuadorian married to a korean american for 21 years.Love him!!!dated for seven years before that. Dating years were tough with his family and got a lot of looks from public back in the 80's. Engagement was tough! MIL wanted her son to go to korea to find a wife. Happy to say we've come a long way- 21 years and four kids later. grandkids have eased the relationship between all of us.Although Halmoni didn't speak to us much during third and fourth pregnancy-too many kids she said, how are we going to pay for harvard?just finished reading still life with rice and that was very helpful in uderstanding in-laws and korean history. not alot of sharing goes on in my husbands family.Talk is very superficial-money and status are the big topics.
BTW- two daughters in college now.Both at Jesuit Universities.We're proud. i think Halmoni is too.(she says she still has two more prospects.....)Ahi gooo!

[mykoreanwedding.com]

Multicultural weddings aren't easy, but they are doable.

If you need help planning your Korean Wedding, come to www.mykoreanwedding.com

[mykoreanwedding.com]

Multicultural weddings aren't easy, but they are doable.

If you need help planning your Korean Wedding, come to www.mykoreanwedding.com

[carolyngail]

Late to the party but had to leave my pithy comments on this subject I know so much about. Forty-five years ago this naive little girl from the South married a young man from the South of Korea.

We had a simple, small church wedding with just a few friends and family .

We were pioneers. When we walked together in public heads would turn, but through thick and thin we've made it through.

I've experienced Korean culture firsthand having housed my MIL, BIL and SIL until they got settled in their new life in America. And while there are some negatives for the most part I've come to admire and love Koreans. There is something that is inherently good in their spiritual make-up. Koreans call it 'kipun ' or feelings .

[Abbey]

I was adopted from Seoul when I was 2.5 months old. I am American in every way however I would like to incorporate some Korean culture/tradition into my wedding this year. Any advice or suggestions on customs to include in the wedding?