This post is near and dear to my heart.
As a public health student, I learned that Korean American families had one of the highest domestic violence (DV) rates among all ethnic groups in America. Makes sense. Historic male chauvinism combined with rampant alcoholism among a generation who grew up during a war (or the aftermaths) seems to be a healthy recipe for DV to thrive. Sprinkle it with a fiery temper and the passion (oh the passion!) that seems to be a part of Korean culture. It may be a recipe for disaster.
Recently I read some stories here. They are heart wrenching.
I do not want this to be a "Life sucks! Let's complain!" post. I want to talk about this topic and share about this topic so that we can help each other prevent it. And also, to encourge any readers who are suffering from DV to get help. If you are in the Bay Area, there is a great resource called Shimtuh. Info can be found here, including a phone number to call to get shelter referral, counseling, and legal assistance. Best of all, they speak both Korean and English. If commenters know of other resources, please post.
I know of many many Korean families that are personally impacted by DV, including mine. Although, in my family it was not as severe as it can get, it still traumatized me and definitely contributed to my parents' divorce. I think there is a lot of emotional and verbal abuse in Korean families too but when it gets physical, there is a boundary that is crossed. A boundary that is, when crossed once, too easily crossed again and again and again. A cycle of violence.
There is no such thing as a minimum number of episodes that are required. Once is too many.
There is no such thing as deserving to be hit.
There is so such thing as being punished by violence for mistakes made.
No one, including your spouse, has the right to hit you, kick you, slap you, or punch you or make you afraid in your own home.