Kimchi Mamas

Death and Literacy

I just finished reading Please Look After Mom by Shin Kyung-Sook. It's one of a few Korean books that I've read that's been translated from Korean into English. I think I've actually read more books in Korean. This one was conveniently available to me at the local library and after reading this racist review, I had to check it out for myself. I tried to get a Korean version of it in Garden Grove this past weekend but it was sold out!

The book was a quick weekend read. I did not find myself crying or feeling guilty about mistreating my mom. Rather, I found myself being drawn into the life of this woman who got lost in the city.

(spoiler alert)

Parenting Style

I haven't read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom. Just the excerpt in the Wall Street Journal. But I got to thinking, what kind of parents did I have? My mom was pretty much out of the picture, so what kind of dad did I have? He certainly was not a Tiger Father.

My dad did not sit with me and drill me on math. He did not make me practice the piano or the violin. I never had to learn tennis. I don't think he even owns a tennis racket. He never asked me if I did my homework, or even if I had homework. I had no curfew. I consistently came home well past midnight on Fridays. I never had any lessons. I could do whatever I wanted to on the weekends. I watched TV, Korean dramas, and played video games. I was in the school musical.

American Revolutionary: Grace Lee Boggs Documentary

American Revolutionary - Indiegogo Pitch from American Revolutionary on Vimeo.

I was recently in the Jane Addams Hull House Museum in Chicago and saw a wonderful portrait of Grace Lee Boggs hanging on the wall. It is part of an exhibit called Americans Who Tell The Truth, containing 10 portraits from the inspiring series of the same name by Robert Shetterly. Some of you may have heard of Grace Lee Boggs through the documentary The Grace Lee Project, or you may have heard of her because she has been an activist and community organizer in Detroit for many decades. She has been an inspiration to me and one of the influences in my own personal journey of becoming politicized. At almost 96 years old, Grace Lee Boggs continues to dedicate herself to serving her beloved community, and her impact is felt not only in Detroit but throughout the world, via her writings and her mentoring of activists and justice lovers in so many places over many decades.

Because of the inspiration Grace Lee Boggs has been to many of us who contribute to Kimchi Mamas, we were excited to hear of a new documentary film project about her by the filmmaker of The Grace Lee Project, who is also named Grace Lee and is also a Kimchi Mama. The new film is titled American Revolutionary:The Evolution of Grace Lee Boggs. Grace Lee wrote the following in an email a few weeks ago telling us about the new project:

"I actually started this project while I was staying home with my son who was born three years ago. I wanted  him to know about Grace Lee Boggs and her ideas of rethinking what it means to be an 'American revolutionary' -- someone who is dedicated to the ideas of social justice and the process of building community. Fellow moms I think would respond to her message as well."

Grace Lee is currently raising funds to be able to complete this project, and we at Kimchi Mamas are only too happy to help get the word out for this worthy cause. She has 12 days left to reach a goal of $12,500 to be able to receive an anonymous matching donation of another $4,500, bringing the total to $17,000. She is soooo close to that goal now at just shy of $11,000. We encourage all our fellow Kimchi Mamas and Kimchi Papas and allies to donate if they are able. No amount is too small, and I am certain that the resulting film will be a treasure and inspiration to so many, including ourselves and our children. Please go to Grace's Indigogo site to contribute.

To learn more about the work of filmmaker Grace Lee, please visit her website at gracelee.net. To learn more about the life and work of Grace Lee Boggs, please visit The Bogg Center.

~Sarah-Ji

Some Reactions to "Paper Tigers"

Wesley Yang's recent essay, "Paper Tigers," was published as the cover story of New York Magazine yesterday.  Have you read it yet?  I just did, and my head is reeling.  Much like Manny Pacquiao delivering blow after blow in the ring, Wesley Yang overloads the senses with vivid imagery, damning statistics, compelling interviews and profiles, and the occasional "fuck you" thrown in for good measure.  It is a long article, and I write short blog posts, so I'm only going to talk about a couple points here, but please bring up other points of discussion in the comments if you wish.

Okay, first assertion by the author I wish to talk about: Asian Americans, although we have fantastic college acceptance and graduation rates, meet a "Bamboo Ceiling" in the corporate world, evidenced by some anecdotes and the fact that only 1.8% of Fortune 500 companies have Asian CEOs.  Therefore, all the math drills and cram schools we force our kids to attend do not guarantee success in life after school.

First off, I agree that this Bamboo Ceiling phenomenon exists; I just don't think the statistics he has chosen to use even begin to prove his point.  If we go by the Fortune 500 measure, everyone in America besides these 500 CEOs hasn't succeeded, and I'm sure many of them beg to differ.  And I'm not talking from the "money doesn't guarantee happiness" point of view either...fine, you want to judge success by Benjamins, I can talk Benjamins.  

How about the thousands of Asian Americans who can say: "I may not have made $37 million dollars last year as CEO of PepsiCo (ironically CEOed by a woman of South Asian descent), but as a boring-ass middle-tier lawyer I did make $300,000."  I dunno about you, but that still seems like success to me.  And don't forget all the Asian Americans who knowingly opt out of the rat race either by becoming public servants, activists, artists and designers, church leaders (I wonder what the combined net worth of all the Korean churches in America is...I bet it's not too shabby), and self-employed.

It's tough to become a Fortune 500 CEO, or any kind of CEO that necessitates moving up the corporate ladder.  The reason why so many of them are tall white men is because their predecessors were tall white men.  The Old Boy Network has been around for what, 12 generations now, and that club is hard to get into, and it usually involves multiple generations of inherited money, power, and connections to people like governors and board members, so they're not bound to look kindly on some fresh-faced 2nd generation ethnic-American whose family's net worth cannot buy a congressional district.  I think it's amazing that even 9 Asian Americans managed to pierce through that veil.  Go them!

Which brings me to my second point: you think Asian Americans have it bad?  Talk to a Latino or African American.  Their "success" numbers drop off in high school, let alone college.  Or how about women of all races?  Injustice comes in many flavors.

My second cause of dismay was the uncomfortably long portion dedicated to learning pick up artist tricks in order to bone white girls.  After all this compelling talk about real Asian American issues, with no segue at all, suddenly I'm thrust into a world I don't think I'm meant to witness with a motley crew of alpha-males-in-training.  Their mission statement: "What is good in life?"  “To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women—in my bed!”

Work and life success equated with contrived sexual conquests?  Really?  Who invited me to the sausage fest?

However, this bombastic tone screeches to a halt near the end when he starts talking about Amy Chua's Tiger Mom book.  In fact, his review is the most nuanced and intriguing I've read on the topic, and it actually made me want to finally read the book.  Which brings me to my final reaction: despite the gut-wrenching, angry ways he describes his own and the world's shortcomings, Wesley Yang strikes me a pinnacle of his definition of success.  He has a semi-naked picture of himself published in his barely-edited cover story for New York Magazine, for goodness' sake!  And dare I say, despite his first few paragraphs, he accomplished this as an Asian American.

PS: While I was writing this, Ask a Korean's response came into my feed reader.  It's some good shit.

--Julie

Father School

Oh my goodness, you HAVE TO read this article in the New York Times about an emotional bootcamp of sorts for Korean men of our parents' generation.

I burst into tears when I read the last couple paragraphs.  I wish I could go back in time and make this compulsory for all first generation husbands and fathers...how many awkward or broken relationships would this have mended?

Have any of you ever heard of Father School before today?  I cannot believe this is the first I have heard of this, especially since it's based right next to my hometown!

And while I'm here, I wish you all a very happy Mother's Day!!!!  Whether it's your first or your fiftieth, it's always nice to see your kids try to show their appreciation (or at least get some brunch buffet).

Love,
Julie 

Update: Eagle-eyed reader Karen sent me this link to a more in-depth article from Koream Magazine written a couple years ago. 

Happy Children's Day!

The school halls and classrooms are empty here in Korea.  Well, all of them except the American schools on bases, that is.  Jun still went off on his school bus today- all regular like- with promises of fun when he got back.  But he was ok with that.  Probably because he has no idea that the Korean kids around him have today off.

Growing up in America I heard about Children's day but I didn't actually experience it.  In Hawaii we had May Day on May 1st with lots of elaborate Hawaiian hula pageants and flower leis.  And since the Japanese culture is pretty dominant, that meant May 5th was Boy's day.  At school we had little class parties where the boys got served first and the girls had to put the boys chairs up on their desks at the end of the day for them and let them get lunch first or something.  (Incidentally, I think in Japan it is now Children's day in May 5th too and this tradition of just it being Boy's day is old?  I think.  But in Hawaii it's still pretty separated between Boy's and Girl's day.)  At home, my parents would mention something about Children's day in Korea, but gifts never appeared and we never went out even for dinner or anything so it always sort of passed as one of those bits of information they threw at you about your culture that you never really grasped.  Or at least that's how it was for me.  I think that's how it is a lot with Konglish life.  You can't experience a 100% of both cultures, but when you miss something you really don't know that you are.  So it's interesting to finally be here to see what it is I've been missing.

You know what?  It's a big deal.

The kids get a day off from school.  Which means that the parents schedule to take off from work as it's also an age in korea when there are more and more two income families.  Which means that there are a lot of businesses today either closed down or running low staffed.  Requirements of the day are to spoil your child rotten.  They get gifts and treats and taken out for a day of pure fun.   Apparently the gifts and treats can come from anyone.  Gracie and I just returned from picking up a carton of eggs at our local market where the cashier gave my very excited little girl a plastic bag full of candies, packets of cookies and sweet yogurt drinks.  Lots of admission prices for various amusement parks and similar places are waived today.  That means a lot of Kimbaps are being packed (along with Choco pies and Pororo drinks) as I type this in anticipation of a day of fun at whatever fun place the child chooses.  You can bet that nobody in this family will be going anywhere near any of these places anytime today.  We will be staying far far away from the madness.  I shudder to think of the lines and crowds.

Not that Children's day will pass quietly this year for our family.  I do admit we are getting swept up in the excitement.  I want it to be different for my kids than it was for me.  I still like that they can celebrate how other cultures celebrate things in May (and isn't it interesting how all of these fun things fall in May?  there's Cinco de Mayo too!) but we have this cool one that's our own all this time.  When I explained what the day was for, Jun, whose behaviors sometimes overshadows his accomplishments, puffed up and said "I'm a children!  The day is for me!"

When Jun gets home today we will celebrate their childhood.  There will be gifts for him and Gracie.  Books mostly.  Hardback ones to fill out their library.  Then we will probably gorge on video games for him and play some beauty shop for her and then eat a dinner of their choice.  Probably keem and rice with chocolate milk (I never understood how they could stomach this combo!)  But before dinner, a prayer of thanks for these lovely children who fill this home and our lives with such love and joy. 

 

 

A wish for all our Kimchi children today:  May they grow healthy and strong into compassionate people who change the world for the better. 

- jooliyah who will be playing a mario game on the wii and getting her toenail painted by a three year old in a few hours after writing this.

LAAPFF Itsy Bitsy Shorts

If you and your kids find yourself in LA this weekend, the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival is once again having its children's program, Itsy Bitsy Shorts!  It's the third time they've done this, and this year they will show 5 kid-friendly animated shorts, two of them by Korean artists, as well as a live performance with the legendary Kristina Wong.

The event is free, you just need to reserve tickets here.  I went last year with both my kids and we had a blast!

Here is the official info:

LOS ANGELES ASIAN PACIFIC FILM FESTIVAL --
For our youngest festival guests comes the 3rd edition of ITSY BITSY SHORTS, the Saturday morning family program (appropriate for ages 2 and up). Enjoy an animation showcase (5 films, approx. 24 mins. total) in comfy stadium style seating, then join us for an interactive performance of "Grey Gardens for Children," featuring legendary performance artist Kristina Wong with a surprise ensemble.

Date: Saturday, May 7 · 11:00am - 1:00pm
Location: CGV Cinemas - Koreatown
621 S Western Ave. (Between 6th Street and Wilshire Blvd)
Los Angeles, CA

Films: OUT ON A LIMB (by Daisy Lin). ORANGE CITY (by Qingyuan Wang). ELECTRIC CAR (by Max Porter, Ru Kuwahata aka Tiny Inventions). WHERE, THERE, HERE (by Soyeon Kim). CHERRY ON THE CAKE (by Hyebin Lee).

Ever wish you could nosh on Asian snacks at the movies? Use your savings from the FREE PROGRAM & FREE PARKING and head to CGV's cinema cafe and concession stand for taro ice cream and dried squid!

Ticket reservations and film details at http://laapff.festpro.com/films/detail/itsy_bitsy_shorts_2011_2011

--Julie