I spent all day yesterday and today at a conference called The Global Leadership Summit. It was quite awesome. The speaker I was most looking forward to was Brene Brown, a researcher who studies shame and vulnerability. She said that people need two things. Love and belonging. Shes said, "The two irreducible needs of men, women and children are love and belonging. In the absence of these, there is always suffering."
WOW. WOW. WOW.
And as I reflected on the word belonging. I thought, "Hm... kimchi mamas kind of did that for me... when I didn't feel connected to a lot of people."
And so, I come here to say Thank You! Thank you to the fellow Kimchi Mamas, thank you to the readers, and thank you to the lovely people whom I've met through this blog. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. (Why does this sound like a good-bye?? I assure you, it is not. On a side note, why do people say Thank You when they are LEAVING? It should be said more early and more often.)
I felt so alone during my first couple of years as a mom. One because I didn't know what the heck I was doing and I thought I was doing it all wrong. Two because my mother was driving me into post partum depression. Three because I didn't know how to ask for help. And four because I didn't have deep community around me. (Oh, and my w0rk situation was kind of bad too.)
I was an "orphan" in the Bay Area with no family around. I had friends, but no real connection. No sense of BELONGING.
I remember during that time, checking the comments of the blog religiously. (I still do... somewhat) I smiled every time I got a compliment on a post I had written. I also remember checking out ALL the blogs of the kimchi mamas and reading every single post. I checked out all the regular commenter's blogs too. I remember hoping that there would be a new post on my Google Reader for me to enjoy. I remember commenting on posts a LOT. Now that I look back, it was kind of like this:
"What an awesome post!" I AM HERE.
"What great writing." I EXIST.
"That was so funny!" PLEASE SEE ME.
And you know what? You did see me. And when I asked if I could be one of you, you said, "Yes."
Hallelujah the clouds parted and my depression was gone.
OK. That was a total exaggeration.
Anyway... I know that social media is not, by itself, the REAL DEAL. I mean, I can't have a real, meaningful, loving relationship with a computer or a blog. But for a little while, when I needed to feel like I belonged, Kimchi Mamas was here for me. So THANK YOU. You contributed to the lessening of my suffering. I hope this blog continues to do the same for some of you.