Kimchi Mamas

To Specialize or Not To Specialize. That is the Question.

(Please forgive the "first-world problems" feel of this post.)

As my children have gotten older (they are now almost 10 and just a touch over 12), I have noticed a disturbing pattern that I may have been unaware in the past: specialization.

My daughter's into soccer. She plays in a youth sports group and they practice for about 1 hour once a week, play once a week and the season is only about 2 1/2 months long at a time. She plays probably 2-3 "seasons" a year. Though she is 12, most of the girls on her team are 10 and 11. They "play up". Playing up is based on the theory that if you raise the level of competition they will play to meet that challenge (or something like that).

Many of the girls on her team will probably leave in the next season or two to move into "club" soccer. Club soccer here is more . . . specialized. This is when teams practice 3-4 times a week for an hour or an hour and a half each practice and will play 2-3 games a weekend. They will also travel to surrounding areas (and in Texas that could mean 3+ hours of driving) and play in tournaments that go on for entire weekends (Saturdays and Sundays).

My son was participating in Tae Kwon Do and in tennis.  A few months ago, he had to make a very difficult choice: he had to choose.  He is 10 years old and he was being forced into specializing. As a 10 year old he would do tennis 2 times a week and then TKD 2 times a week and depending on visitation weekends, TKD sparring on Fridaysa and TKD tournament team on Saturdays or a tennis tournament. Tennis was 2 private lessons a week plus 'clinic' for a total of about 7 hours of tennis a week. This wasn't enough . . . his new schedule is tennis 4 days a week (about 10-12 hours a week) and an average of 2 tournaments a month (tournaments begin on Fridays and end on Sundays if you're playing well).

I look around and I see it amongst many of our friends: a 12 year old who plays club volleyball - tournaments are all weekend long and consist of many games per day, a 14 year old who is now home schooled so she can pratice tennis 8+ hours a day, and a 17 year old who has been taking tennis lessons for 12 years.

And this is just the sports side. I know children who practice piano 15-20 hours a week, a neighbor's child plays drums for school, church and 2 bands (he's 16) and on and on and on...

In all of these cases (and from personal experience) I have been told that kids HAVE to specialize if they want to remain competitive. Competitive for school, college, scholarships, professionally.

As parents we want what's best for our children.

We want opportunities for them that we didn't have.

We give them the best so they can be their best. 

We want them to be competive and have an edge.

To have THE edge.

 

 

But what does that mean? And at what cost?

Kim and the World Bank . . . What a "Thriller"!

Jim Yong Kim was named the new President of the World Bank today. . . and that is COOL!

But Kim will always have a place in my heart for THIS performance (around the 1:26 mark) while President of Dartmouth College.

Congratulations President Kim!!

I'm sure you've made your own Kimchi Mama proud!!

 

--Angie in Texas *hearts* MJ no matter what!

Parenting Style

I haven't read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom. Just the excerpt in the Wall Street Journal. But I got to thinking, what kind of parents did I have? My mom was pretty much out of the picture, so what kind of dad did I have? He certainly was not a Tiger Father.

My dad did not sit with me and drill me on math. He did not make me practice the piano or the violin. I never had to learn tennis. I don't think he even owns a tennis racket. He never asked me if I did my homework, or even if I had homework. I had no curfew. I consistently came home well past midnight on Fridays. I never had any lessons. I could do whatever I wanted to on the weekends. I watched TV, Korean dramas, and played video games. I was in the school musical.

Test Day in Korea is Serious Business

Today was TEST DAY in Korea.  Yikes.  I first suspected something yesterday.  There was an unusual amount of people out and about.  And an even more noticeable amount of ambulances screeching through the streets.  Something was up.  The American me just didn't know what.

Luckily, my mom was around to enlighten me.  She told me that today was Test Day.  Well, she told me this yesterday so she actually said "Tomorrow is THE Korea Test Day."  and she look at me.  And I looked at her.  And I had no idea what she meant.  Did it mean they were going to have a nuclear test?  Did it mean we were all going to be tested on something as one mass?  This was getting interesting.

Michelle Rhee - my new hero

I've only recently gotten into Oprah. I didn't want to be THAT woman so I resisted liking Oprah for many years but with the help of a DVR, it was too much to resist.

 

 

Michelle A Rhee was on Oprah the other day. She talked about some of the stuff she's been up to, like firing the principal of her kid's school. =)

 

Open Thread Thursday

It's late but... It's Open Thread Thursday. What's on your mind?

Today I read this article about 20 Something Men (at church).

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/panelists/mark_driscoll/2010/08/the_world_is_filled_with_boys_who_can_shave.html

What do you think ladies, do we agree or no?

Also a more general and academic article about the "new" 20 Somethings (including women.)
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html

- Kimchi mamas

The Definitive Guide to Asian American Children's Literature

Summer vacation is upon us, and I'm sure a lot of you Kimchi Mamas out there are looking for summer book selections for your little ones!  Luckily, I happen to be high school buddies with Dr. Sarah Park, who recently sent me a link to an online bibliography specializing in APA and AIAN literature.  It is called Talk Story and it seeks to help families foster a home environment based on literacy and cultural awareness.  Be still my beating heart!

The book lists are meticulously curated and span a wide variety of cultures, subjects, and literacy levels.  I started drooling while perusing through the Korean and Korean American list, but honestly, all the other cultures' selections are equally as enticing.

Direct Links to Book Lists:

Asian Pacific American Book List

American Indian/Alaskan Native Book List

Happy reading!
Julie

---------------------------------------------------------------

More on the Talk Story website:

Talk Story: Sharing stories, sharing culture is a literacy program that reaches out to Asian Pacific American (APA) and American Indian/Alaska Native (AIAN) children and their families. The program celebrates and explores their stories through books, oral traditions, and art to provide an interactive, enriching experience.  Children and their families can connect to rich cultural activities through Talk Story in their homes, libraries, and communities. We welcome all ethnicities to customize Talk Story as needed for your community family literacy needs.

More on Sarah:

Sarah Park is an Assistant Professor of Library and Information Science at St. Catherine University in St. Paul, Minnesota. Her research interests include representations of the Korean diaspora in children’s and young adult literature, youth services librarianship, social justice, transracial adoption, and Korean diasporic history

 

Research study on Korean adoptees

I recently received an email from my friend Saebom, who is a Korean adoptee doing a research study on the experiences of Korean adoptees.  This is such an under-studied topic, and I think it's so important that Korea adoptees are starting this research.  Please help out if you can, and feel free to pass this information along!

- eliaday, who wants to help out a friend

--

We need your help if you are a Korean adoptee who is:

* Currently 20 years or older
* Went to Korea at age 20 or older
* Went to Korea and RETURNED to pre-Korea life 

Please respond to our independent research study! 

There are only 49 questions, and it should take 20-30 minutes. Email us for the password  at 2curiouskads [at] gmail com, and then proceed to this link: http://www.kwiksurveys.com/online-survey.php?surveyID=BIDNH_636365b6. Be sure to enable cookies before you start so you can go back  later on if you need to.

Some of these questions might seem personal, but the more open and honest you can be the more helpful your responses will be for other adoptees. Please know that your responses are generated anonymously. 

Feel free to post this message on your own blog or copy, paste and email it to anyone who might be interested in participating. Or simply email us at 2curiouskads [at] gmail com, with a list of emails, and we'll be happy to send out the information.

Here’s some info on us. We are Korean adoptees, 32 and 35 years old, who've been Korea 2-3 times. After we returned from Korea last year we felt isolated. Displaced. Confused. Unable to ease back into our pre-Korea lives. We wondered if other adoptees felt the same way. More importantly, if they didn't, what had they done to prevent these feelings from manifesting? What sort of foundations, behaviors, life circumstances did they have in place that enabled them to feel rooted and connected when they returned? And how could this information offer support to other adoptees? 

This is where you come in. If we get enough responses we will develop the results into a presentation for the IKAA Gathering in Seoul this summer so that your responses will help others just like you. 

Much appreciation,
Rae Anne and Saebom
2curiouskads [at] gmail com

Ask a Korean

I have to share this funny blog I found recently.  It's called Ask a Korean.  (Warning: some might find it offensive.)

His most recent post about Japan/Korean relations is both well written and informative. His post are often so hilarious that I find myself laughing out loud (really!) frequently.  

Inspired by Ask a Mexican (which I have yet to read), his duty is to answer all your questions related to all things Korean. He does have a question policy and also a list of FAQs.  Go ask away! 

LOLing and grateful for the high quality entertainment (and education),

- Mary

Kimchi Mama guest post by Michelle from Wife and Mommy

Please welcome guest poster Michelle from Wife and Mommy! I met Michelle at Blogher '09 and knew immediately after having lunch with her that she needed to tell us her story. She shares an aspect of her Korean-American life here and I am sure many of us can relate. —Stefania Pomponi Butler

Of all the areas in which I feel insecure about raising my children, exposing them to their Korean culture is the most worrisome for me.  I am uncertain how to teach them the traditions and nuances of the beautiful, rich culture that my own parents taught me.

I’m a first generation Korean-American—I was born in the U.S.A., effectively beating out my entire family to citizenship.  Growing up, I felt split between two cultures.  At home, I was a dutiful Korean daughter.  I served my father Korean meals that my mom prepared.  I did as my parents expected, studying hard and bringing home good grades (for the most part).  I played the piano and violin.  I followed my father’s rule, even though I internally rebelled against my father’s attempt to have us speak only Korean in the house.  

My American persona emerged when I was at school and with friends.  I eschewed Korean culture and did everything I could to forget my Korean-ness.  I was embarrassed by my parents’ odd Korean manners.  I didn’t want to bring my friends over lest they smell our kimchi kitchen.  I was timid in asking my friends to remove their shoes upon entering our home.  I ignored Korean peers at school and went out of my way to not be associated with them.

My exposure to the Korean culture was simply what I absorbed in my day-to-day living.  I managed to avoid the dreaded Saturday Korean School that my sister was made to attend, but now I can’t read and write Hangul.  I made no effort to learn Korean customs nor have Korean friends despite my parents’ desire for me to do both.  

I married a white-bread American guy and we now have three beautiful multicultural children.  My desire to know more about Korean culture has increased in an effort to teach it to my kids.  Since they aren’t immersed in Korean culture in their home as I was, how will they ever learn about it?  I am not Korean enough to adequately educate them.  I lean on my parents to show their grandchildren, but they live overseas now and we only see them once a year or so.  

So I try.  We go to the Asian grocery store as often as we go to the regular supermarket.  I attempt to make my favorite Korean dishes so their young tongues can develop an appreciation for the delicious flavors of my childhood.  We have dolls dressed in traditional hanbok.  We read Korean folk tales and eat a lot of rice.

For now, I hope it’s enough.  Maybe I’ll see if I can find a Korean school for them to attend once they are older.  

***

Michelle is a Wife, Mommy, former school teacher, writer, and procrastinator (among other things). 

Michelle's parents immigrated to the U.S. a year before she was born, thus giving her the distinction of being the first American citizen in the entire extended family!  She grew up in the DC Metro Area, where she still lives with her white-bread midwestern boy, The Husband, and their three children:  Bito, Cupcake and BabyMuffin.

She writes about her life at Wife and Mommy.