Kimchi Mamas

A Holocaust Ignored

I feel nauseated!  I have never before in my life read something that gave me a physical reaction like this. I have the physical urge to throw up! I don’t even know where to begin. I’m going to try... Osaka Mayor Toru Hashimoto, who otherwise looks to be a human, said that the rape of women (comfort woman) was ok because it relaxed their rapists (Japanese soldiers).

Comfort women were NOT prostitutes! They were set up to be raped by Japanese soldiers by the Japanese government.  

Comfort women were kept in small cubicles that resembled micro-sized portapotties.  They were forced to stay in these cells without being let out except every couple of weeks to wash themselves. These enclosures had chamber pots within them.  Every fifteen minutes a Japanese soldier would enter and rape the woman inside the cubicle, and if the woman in anyway rebelled, she was pulled out, put to death and left where other women could see her as a warning.  The soldiers gunned down lines of women if they caught STDs, instead of treating them. The women were treated as less than human all those years ago, and now Hashimoto dehumanizes them again.

What if a German politician came out and said that some part of the Holocaust was necessary? What if he said that the victims of the holocaust deserved kind words, but that killing them, torturing them, using them as slaves made the German soldiers relax, made them feel good because they were at war, and provided needed relief?  How would the world react to that statement?  How would the victims of holocaust feel?  Is there inherently some difference between how the world views the victims of one country-wide tragedy to another? I wonder why one article on the BBC website is all the press this has received, and I wonder how different it might be if it were about another set of victims. 

I cannot understand where Hashimoto is coming from but you can read it for yourself here:

“Japan WWII ‘comfort woman’ were ‘necessary’ - Hashimoto

- Nancy

Spicy! Seeking Asian Female

Have you read this review of the documentary Seeking Asian Female?  What are your thoughts?  I have a non-Asian male acquaintance who has a definitive "type" of woman - tiny, feisty, hardworking, future-baby/homemaking Filpina; but he's also the uber-geeky American guy who long-distance "dates" women in other countries, making the occasional trip east when funds allow.

 

Seeking Asian Female, by Debbie Lum

 

I found the story kind of fascinating - I, too, cringed, but still, I couldn't stop reading.  Would you, like Sandy, stay so you wouldn't lose face upon finding that your knight in shining armor was not so shiny?  Does it matter how they start if they fall in love with each other in the end?

Netflix doesn't have the Debbie Lum's documentary quite yet, but I've saved it to my queue... now, will I actually watch this when it arrives in mailbox?

--Rikki

A Culinary Tour of Koreatown with Anthony Bourdain and a Couple Bros

Episode Two of "Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown," a new show on CNN that promises to "take you to exotic global destinations through Bourdain's unique lens," featured Los Angeles' Koreatown last week:

 

Anthony hung out with two famous Korean American "bad boys": Roy Choi of Kogi foodtruck fame and David Choe, street artist and newly-minted multimillionaire.  Roy and David took Anthony on a culinary tour of K-town, including surprising stops at Sizzler and Jollibee, as well as profiling their families' compelling stories.  Roy even gave an excellent breakdown of the 1992 LA Riots from the Korean community's point of view, a viewpoint that is not often explained so poignantly on mainstream media.

I really enjoyed the show, being a fan of all three gentlemen, and feeling more and more proud as they introduced Anthony to each new beloved haunt: the glories of Beverly Soon Tofu, the rohsu gui at Dong Il Jang, and this amazing-looking dumpling place called Myung In Dumplings which I now have made my life's goal to find and set up camp in.  The Koreatown they showed him was sexy, delicious, laid-back, and rife with gorgeous examples of the ever-fabled melting pot.  

One stick in my craw was the lack of a strong female Korean American voice.  David Choe's mom was featured quite heavily, which I appreciated, but if he's looking for "bad Koreans," he would have benefitted from getting to know some Korean renegade riot girls too!  I personally would have loved to have taken Anthony around Galleria market, fed him gamja tang, haemul jungol, and soondae, and drink him under the table at the noraebang!  Maybe next time, bro!

--Julie

Mouth. Watering.

I don't know exactly how old this website is, but you gotta check out Seoulistic.com! The videos and articles are hilarious and ring OH SO TRUE! (Old school Korean punishment, anyone? Thoughts on dating? . . . )

This is the article that got my mouth watering: How to Eat Galbi the Right Way . . .
What's your level?

 

Angie in Texas enjoys Texas barbeque and Korean barbeque and considers herself a Grill Master.

 

A Kimchi Mama's Response to Margaret Cho's Experience at the Jjimjilbang

Kimchi Mama Julie has a post up on BlogHer in response to Margaret Cho's encounter with tattoo prejudice at her local jjimjilbang (Korean spa and sauna).  Please check it out!

"An Overlooked School Shooting..." One Year Later

Did anyone else hear the NPR "Talk of the Nation"  "around the nation" segment about the Oikos University shooting? It aired earlier today: An Overlooked School Shooting and the Korean American Community.

It was a very short interview with Jay Kang, but I'm glad it was done at all. Mr. Kang spoke of "han", the idea of "The Korean Dad", and the stereotyping of Korean Americans and shootings.

I am curious to continue the conversation... I am curious to hear your thoughts and especially the thoughts of our fellow Kimchi Mamas who live in the SF/Oakland area.  Were there any memorials? Articles in your local paper(s)?

What was your reaction when this happened? How do you feel about it now? And how do you feel about it now within the context of the Virginia Tech shootings 5 years ago this month? And within the context of the Newtown Massacre?

How do you think this affected the Korea/Korean American community locally? Nationally? 

How do you think culture played a part?

 

(Angie in Texas)

*I purposely did not use the names of the shooters in any the events.

 

Kimchi Mama Shares Her "KoreanAmericanStory"

Our own Shinyung Oh shares her story on MyKoreanAmericanStory.Org.  Here's the link: Shinyung. 

We are truly lucky to have her here with us!

THANK YOU Shinyung for sharing your stories with us!

 

 

 

 

On Self Esteem

Self esteem was in short supply when I was growing up.

Not that anyone was out to crush us. We just didn't have an environment where there was such a thing as self esteem, much less a sense of self. I'm not sure if my parents thought of us in those terms -- as individuals with individual sense of selves. To them, we were children -- viewed as a unit, perhaps more or less interchangeable, with roles to play and futures to fulfill. Of course, they knew us as separate people, with distinct personalities, but I don't know if they necessarily thought of us as contained beings ripe enough to possess inner lives worthy of consideration. We were beings in the making, nascent and malleable, billowing with potential and room for improvement. Their job was to help us ripen, prevent bruises and defects, and deliver us for perfection in the hopes that such painstaking preparation would help us weather future storms.

The Software Doesn't Match the Hardware

As a parent of a ‘tween I found myself at the mall with my daughter the other day. It was right after school and she was still in her all-girls school uniform.

As we walked by one of the kiosks, a young man stopped her and asked if she went to ABC Private School – he recognized the uniform as the uniform of his all-boys high school alma mater’s sister school. He was indeed correct – except my daughter is in the sister school’s middle school. 

Maybe it’s the “Asians don’t look their age” stereotype or maybe it’s because she was in uniform or maybe because she’s tall for her age but as she said yes and I gave my best KDS (Korean Death Stare) to this young man and gently guided her down the hall, I had a mix of remembering the feelings of being mistaken as older at that age and what it may mean for my daughter..and me as her mom.

With the faster-than-the-speed-of-light economic growth in China, and young people flooding in from rural areas to the bustling cities in search of jobs and opportunities, a saying has developed about this group of new-to-the-city young women: The software doesn’t match the hardware. Kind of creepy when you think about it. Here’s a young woman in search of opportunity and she has been reduced to an electronic, a cliché, because she’s attractive but innocent/naïve.

We here in the United States are guilty of perpetuating some of that concept, too. Look around: magazine covers, tv shows, music . . . Have you tried shopping for “cute” girl clothes recently? Listened to the actual lyrics of some popular songs. Next time you’re at the grocery store take the time to glance over the covers of magazines specifically designed for your teen!

My fellow moms and I complain about the lack of appropriate clothing, the pressures our girls face to wear make-up, shave their legs and have first dates/first kisses, etc. And because many of these concepts were foreign to my mother, the "right" way to navigate through them are in many ways foreign to me.

Do you remember the first time you were mistaken as being older than you really were (as a 'tween/teen)?

 

Angie in Texas is practicing her KDS for all future boys...

 

To Every Thing There is a Season

Earlier this winter we celebrated warmer, spring-like days here in South Texas. There was so much happiness and hope in our little family – the way spring is supposed to be. What spring is supposed to mean. But as all South Texans know: if you don’t like the weather: stick ‘round, it’ll change.

With a fierce, biting wind reminding me it was still winter, my world became cold and barren.

My daughter confessed to cutting.

 

We are the definition of a normal, modern, blended, American family. We struggle with schedules, negotiate the school-work balance, commute to and from extra-curricular activities, schedule social time among adolescent and adult friends, cope with extended family matter dramas and move through our daily lives as a family living alongside two ‘tweens.

What I had written off as normal ‘tween girl drama I can retroactively see now as warning signs. Stereotypical signs, too! Tumbling grades (check!), increased arguments with us, (check!), a new passion for fighting with her brother (check!), yelling matches and hurling hurtful words (check!), periods of deafening total silence (check!).

As a hip, consciously-aware, educated, socially active mother (certainly not like the old-school Korean mother I grew up with!) I knew and understood the stage of growing up she was going through.  She was in the early stages of adolescent spring! The winter of child childhood fading. I could even empathize with the season of adolescent spring: the bright sunlight moving from family to friends, chores and homework to trips to the mall with friends and PG-13 movies in giggly, awkward groups. 

And yet here I was am trying to understand. I’ve Googled. I’ve read. I’ve Tumblred. I've seen and read things that have broken my heart a million times into a million pieces. I’ve gone to see our family therapist. I’ve cried. I’ve begged. I’ve pleaded. I’ve prayed. I’ve overdosed my daughter with “mommy and me” time(!) not because I particularly enjoy spending countless hours talking about My Little Pony, cats and watching Animal Planet, but because I’m too scared to leave her alone. Too scared what I may find when I come back.

Knowing what I know about Koreans and depression; knowing what I know about my Korean parents, depression and alcoholism; knowing what I know about my own struggles with depression, alcoholism and addiction I wish I knew more about how to help my daughter. 

Sometimes I think we are moving through this season of hurt, but then I am reminded of the very meaning of seasons and that cutting isn’t just a one time thing, a one hundred time thing, or even a one thousand time thing . . . it’s a lifetime thing. 

But like the approaching spring, there is hope.

There has to be hope.

 

Hope springs eternal in Texas.