Kimchi Mamas

Unsolicited Advice Alert!

My friends and acquaintances everywhere are popping out progeny lately, and for some unknown reason these poor people are asking me for tips.  I normally defer to the experts, since it seems like every hour of pregnancy, from conception to delivery, is covered in grotesque detail in books and websites.  But in my personal experience, knowing when the embryo is the size of a fava bean is nice and all, but actually raising an infant was comparatively full of mystery and peril.  Here is a collection of the advice I wish someone gave me concerning life right after having a baby:

Vigil

I used to be awakened by the sound. A deep, raspy cough that repeated again and again. As if the lungs were held hostage. But insistent enough to puncture the wall between my parents' bedroom and mine.

In the hollow of the night, I used to lie awake and listen. Captured and paralyzed by it. Quieting my own breathing to listen, even though I didn't want to hear. When all else was silent, it sounded like a rhythm from an Edgar Allan Poe tale. At a time when we were all meant to be asleep, getting our rest after a day's worth of living.

It hadn't always been this way. There used to be a time when we all breathed healthy breaths. When we had slept soundly. When coughs hadn't raise the specter of something more.

North Korea

Saturday night, I watched the film Crossing, about a North Korean man who crosses the border into China in search of food and medicine for his pregnant wife.  I bought the DVD at an event hosted at Stanford where the guest of honor was Shin Dong Hyuk, the only person to have escaped from Camp Number 14, a political concentration camp (Thanks Glennia for the heads up about the event!).  He was born and raised there and saw his mother and brother executed in front of his eyes for attempting to escape.

Through Google Earth, he showed us where the camp was, and the barbed fencing that encloses the entire camp.  He pointed out the prisoners' housing, the pig farm, the guards' housing, and the execution grounds. He pointed also to the school where children are taught to read and write, and basic math skills that are necessary for labor, nothing more.

Food Fight

When I was a kid, whatever Mom made for meals - we ate.  And because for a significant portion of my childhood we were “financially challenged”, that food wasn’t always something I wanted to eat.  But nonetheless it was eaten.

When given the choice between food or no food, rice and kimchi for the 2,524th day in a row was fine by me! 

When I became a parent to not just one toddler but two, I struggled with the idea of “kid friendly” food versus . . . food.  So many of my friends would make special meals for their little ones in addition to the meals they shared with their SOs or older children.  (One mom would actually make a meal for the family and then heat up chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for the little one. When I asked her why, she stated it was because “that’s what little kids eat.”  Or another mom who said “my child will only eat foods that are white, yellow or orange-y” but none of the foods she listed were actual oranges . . . WTH?)

Circumcision

A recent episode over at momversation got me thinking about this issue. 

It seems like circumcision is becoming less and less popular in the US and some are even calling it "mutilation" or "amputation." I had no idea that people were so passionate about this.

I know that in Korea, a lot of boys are circumcised when they are older... like in 5th, 6th grade or even when in high school. I remember watching a Korean movie about a gangster who returns to high school. He and a bunch of other teenage boys at his school get circumcised together. Boy, were they ever in pain. I don't know what the practice is now.

According to Wikipedia "Circumcision in South Korea is largely the result of American cultural and military influence following the Korean War. "

I feel like most Korean men are circumcised and that most Korean women prefer a circumcised penis.  Did I just make a huge huge generalization? (Please no lynching.) 

Suckers for Pyramid Schemes?

Today I had a surprising visit from someone I know (between an acquaintance and a friend) who tried to sell me on a modified pyramid scheme.  This one happens to involve an internet shopping website.  You get a percentage of whatever you and your downstream peeps, spend on the website.  You pay a modest but significant annual membership fee. 

They have high quality products, she assured me.  They are have a lot of organic and green products.  Don't you want to leave a green earth for your kids?  Me and my husband's health have dramatically improved with their vitamins.  Etc. Etc...

Is it me or are Kimchi Mamas suckers for these pyramid schemes?

Compassion International

What does Compassion International have to do with Kimchi Mamas?  EVERYTHING!  =)

Compassion started in 1952 providing Korean War orphans with food, shelter, education and health care.  Reverend Everett Swanson was on a preaching tour in South Korea when he saw Korea's unwanted children. He knew he had to do something and thus, Compassion was born. 

•

Compasion has sponsored more than 1 million children in 25 of the world's poorest countries.  Thankfully, they don't need to sponsor kids in South Korea anymore!  (And sadly, North Korea wouldn't allow sponsorship since Compassion is a faith-based organization.)  They are a high quality organization, taking stewardship of donors' money very seriously.  Compassion International recently won a four star rating from the nation's largest independent evaluator of charities for the seventh year in a row - one of only 45 chartities in the nation to do so.

Before there was Red Bull ...

Don't know what made me think of this today, but does anybody remember (or still drink) this vile sh**? And I say that in the most loving way possible. My dad would bring it home by the case. And these peanut brittle candy bars (those were actually quite good).

Seriously, Bacchus-D. My siblings and I would offer/dare each other to drink this tonic of the demonic gods. I remember the commercial on KBS, an over-energized male announcer with reverb effect would shout out, "BACCHUS-D! POWAAHHH!"

We Koreans are so ahead of our time. We had this waaaaay before Red Bull, Rockstar, whatever other sugar-laden knock-off with the word "Dragon" in it became so very popular to ingest. You wanna be hardcore, then drink this stuff. Accept no imitations.

By the way, does anyone know why this photo says Bacchus-F? Could it be that they have improved beyond D, and E? I'm still callin' it Bacchus-D, though. Old school.

Photo credit: Kgrocer.com

--Carol

Shades of the Asian Persuasion

The other day on the Tyra Show (don’t judge, it was on and I was vacuuming) the topic of discussion was light-complected African American women versus dark-complected.  Though I am not deeply knowledgeable about the discussion, I am somewhat familiar with it.  (I went to a small liberal arts women’s college that was made up of about 30% African American and many of my friends have introduced me to the topic.)  The gist of the debate is that some African-Americans believe lighter-complected African-American women are treated sometimes better in a majority Caucasian US culture because of their shade of color  Tyra did a really good job of showing not only the hurt that comes with being “darker” but also the other side: the side of being rejected by your own because you’re lighter.

I bring this up on Kimchi Mamas because though within the Asian community there is no active, lively debate about light versus dark, I know from personal experience that there are some underlying pressures and thoughts about light versus dark.

Being Mom and the Post Baby Body

I am SICK and TIRED of seeing celebrity women (and in some cases girls) on the cover of magazines parading around in their perfect post-partum/pregnant poses!  Photos of Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie, Jamie Lynn-Spears, Jennifer Lopez,Halle Barry and Heidi Klum weeks(!) after giving birth on the red carpet (and in Klum’s case lighted thong on the catwalk) are making me MAD.  Not angry . . . MAD!

It’s already hard enough to look at your flabby tummy right after giving birth, but throw into the mix being a new mother (and every time you have a baby you’re a new mother), post-partum blues/depression, raging hormones, the lack of consistent sleep and boobs the size of basketballs but swollen like a beached whale, the last thing I want to be accosted with on my 45 minute "vacation" to the grocery store are images of Jolie weeks after birth rockin’ a size 2!

So I made some calls: