Kimchi Mamas

Cute Korean Paper Doll

Just saw this on KokoLiving and thought it was too adorable not to share:

It's a cute little Korean paper doll complete with a sidebar containing little facts about Korea that could easily be made into a cute bookmark.

Download Paper-dolls-world-korea (PDF)

Because Middle School is Tough . . .

Just in case looking and talking with your own Small Talk isn't enough:

http://vimeo.com/40923539 

Gah! My ovaries!!

Angie in Texas considers making more babies when she sees videos like these!

To Specialize or Not To Specialize. That is the Question.

(Please forgive the "first-world problems" feel of this post.)

As my children have gotten older (they are now almost 10 and just a touch over 12), I have noticed a disturbing pattern that I may have been unaware in the past: specialization.

My daughter's into soccer. She plays in a youth sports group and they practice for about 1 hour once a week, play once a week and the season is only about 2 1/2 months long at a time. She plays probably 2-3 "seasons" a year. Though she is 12, most of the girls on her team are 10 and 11. They "play up". Playing up is based on the theory that if you raise the level of competition they will play to meet that challenge (or something like that).

Many of the girls on her team will probably leave in the next season or two to move into "club" soccer. Club soccer here is more . . . specialized. This is when teams practice 3-4 times a week for an hour or an hour and a half each practice and will play 2-3 games a weekend. They will also travel to surrounding areas (and in Texas that could mean 3+ hours of driving) and play in tournaments that go on for entire weekends (Saturdays and Sundays).

My son was participating in Tae Kwon Do and in tennis.  A few months ago, he had to make a very difficult choice: he had to choose.  He is 10 years old and he was being forced into specializing. As a 10 year old he would do tennis 2 times a week and then TKD 2 times a week and depending on visitation weekends, TKD sparring on Fridaysa and TKD tournament team on Saturdays or a tennis tournament. Tennis was 2 private lessons a week plus 'clinic' for a total of about 7 hours of tennis a week. This wasn't enough . . . his new schedule is tennis 4 days a week (about 10-12 hours a week) and an average of 2 tournaments a month (tournaments begin on Fridays and end on Sundays if you're playing well).

I look around and I see it amongst many of our friends: a 12 year old who plays club volleyball - tournaments are all weekend long and consist of many games per day, a 14 year old who is now home schooled so she can pratice tennis 8+ hours a day, and a 17 year old who has been taking tennis lessons for 12 years.

And this is just the sports side. I know children who practice piano 15-20 hours a week, a neighbor's child plays drums for school, church and 2 bands (he's 16) and on and on and on...

In all of these cases (and from personal experience) I have been told that kids HAVE to specialize if they want to remain competitive. Competitive for school, college, scholarships, professionally.

As parents we want what's best for our children.

We want opportunities for them that we didn't have.

We give them the best so they can be their best. 

We want them to be competive and have an edge.

To have THE edge.

 

 

But what does that mean? And at what cost?

How to Trick or Treat

I know I am late getting this out, but even on the East Coast, this may not be too late.  I was speaking to an coworker whose family had moved here from elsewhere in the world.  They've been here a few years, and each year I asked if they were taking their son trick-or-treating.  The mom wondered if he wasn't getting too old anyway, as he was already 8 years old.

Heck, back East, I remember trick-or-treating well into high school, but I've heard some parents on the west coast cut their kids off at middle school.  And I do, as a homeowner, find it odd when roving gangs of teenage boys taller than I am ring the bell after 9pm still looking for candy.  ("Get a job!")

But 8?  That's still in the heart of the age of trick-or-treat.  My kids are beside themselves anticipating the candy binge that begins on this last day of October, to continue through the Christmas holidays.

Anyway, talking with my friend, I realized it might be a little intimidating to join in this all-American holiday tradition if you did not grow up with it, so I wrote up some pointers for her.  I am publishing here for new Kimchi Mamas who may not be familiar with how this all works if you are new to the holiday.  Everyday stuff that most American/Canadian parents take for granted:

• When to go?  Between dusk and 8pm.  After 8pm is older kids/teenagers
• Where?      A neighborhood of homes.  Skip apartment or condo complexes--they don't get much traffic, and are usually not prepared.  And you do not have to live in the neighborhood--any child in costume is welcome.
• What equipment?  Costume of course, bag to hold candy, and a flashlight is a good idea.
• Which houses?  Porchlights on, and halloween decorations are a good sign.  Skip if the house looks dark.
• Does the parent go with them?  Usually yes, especially children under 10.  You can stay on the sidewalk, or go with them up to the house.  The key is your child should be in front, facing the door when the it opens.
• What happens next?  Child should say loud and clear "Trick or Treat!" and open their bag.  Parents do not need to speak.  The person who answers the door may ask your child what their costume is, so prepare them for that.  They may drop in candy or offer a bowl the child can pull candy out of.  I remind my kids to say Thank You, before they run to the next house to pillage.
• What else might happen? Some adults get into Halloween and try to scare the kids a little, so beware of that--if the house looks too scary, skip it.
• How many houses should we go to?  As many as you or your child have stamina for.  
• What do we do when we get home?  Inspect candy for opened or unwrapped--toss these.  Remove anything that your family is allergic to.  And your call on how much candy to let them eat.  At our house, we dole it out over the coming weeks.

Happy Halloween everyone!

--Jomama

What's the "right" way to ask about your children's ethnicity or race?

I really enjoyed reading everyone's comments on my last post about ethnicity/race here... but now I am curious...

What is the "right" way to ask questions about a bi-racial/multi-racial (or not-so-obvious ethnicity/race) child's ethnicity/race? Especially if the child is only with one parent and it's not obvious, or if the child is adopted from a ethnicity/race not the same as both or either parent. Or is it even Kosher or PC, to ask about ethnicity/race anymore?

Some of the wrong ways might be:

Is your child adopted?

Is your wife/husband Oriental?

Is that your friend's son/daughter?

Are you the nanny?

Is he/she from China?

Where is your family from?

If you are the parent of a multi-racial or biracial child, how would you prefered to be asked about your child(ren)'s race, if at all?

 

- Mary

Leafie, A Hen Into the Wild

A while back, I promised the Kimchi Mama community that I would inform everyone of any developments in Korean Children entertainment that might be of interest.

Recently, I've noticed posters and commercials for "Leafie, A Hen Into the Wild."  It opens July 28th, here in our little Korean city.  It's a Korean animated film.  The synopsis on the HanCinema website describes it as "an adventure of a hen who leaves her chicken farm to realize her dream of hatching her own egg."

Here's a trailer I found of it on youtube with English subtitles.

 

Apparently, it's already been shown at the Cannes and other countries have already picked it up to show in their theaters according to this 10Asia article I found while doing some research about the movie online.  Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's coming to America yet.  Let's keep our eyes peeled.  Maybe we'll get lucky.  At the very least, I'm sure that sooner or later, those of us that live in majorly Korean popluated neighborhood and cities will maybe be able to find this movie at the local Korean DVD store.  Ask your Korean moms, aunts and ajummahs to keep THEIR eyes peeled. 

As for us, I am just bummed that we will be leaving Korea in a couple of days for the whole summer, too early to see this in the theaters here and maybe too late to see it when we get back.  It might have left the theaters.  But hopefully not.  Hopefully because it's a rare thing for Korea to have their very own animated movie in their very own language, it'll be a long run.  If it's still running in the theaters when we get back, I definitely plan on taking my kids and I'll write a review and let you guys know how it is.

- jooliyah who is truly bummed with the timing of the release of this movie because the kids saw the trailer and thought it was really cool and wanted to see it.  It would have been interesting to see if they needed the subtitles or not.

Happy Children's Day!

The school halls and classrooms are empty here in Korea.  Well, all of them except the American schools on bases, that is.  Jun still went off on his school bus today- all regular like- with promises of fun when he got back.  But he was ok with that.  Probably because he has no idea that the Korean kids around him have today off.

Growing up in America I heard about Children's day but I didn't actually experience it.  In Hawaii we had May Day on May 1st with lots of elaborate Hawaiian hula pageants and flower leis.  And since the Japanese culture is pretty dominant, that meant May 5th was Boy's day.  At school we had little class parties where the boys got served first and the girls had to put the boys chairs up on their desks at the end of the day for them and let them get lunch first or something.  (Incidentally, I think in Japan it is now Children's day in May 5th too and this tradition of just it being Boy's day is old?  I think.  But in Hawaii it's still pretty separated between Boy's and Girl's day.)  At home, my parents would mention something about Children's day in Korea, but gifts never appeared and we never went out even for dinner or anything so it always sort of passed as one of those bits of information they threw at you about your culture that you never really grasped.  Or at least that's how it was for me.  I think that's how it is a lot with Konglish life.  You can't experience a 100% of both cultures, but when you miss something you really don't know that you are.  So it's interesting to finally be here to see what it is I've been missing.

You know what?  It's a big deal.

The kids get a day off from school.  Which means that the parents schedule to take off from work as it's also an age in korea when there are more and more two income families.  Which means that there are a lot of businesses today either closed down or running low staffed.  Requirements of the day are to spoil your child rotten.  They get gifts and treats and taken out for a day of pure fun.   Apparently the gifts and treats can come from anyone.  Gracie and I just returned from picking up a carton of eggs at our local market where the cashier gave my very excited little girl a plastic bag full of candies, packets of cookies and sweet yogurt drinks.  Lots of admission prices for various amusement parks and similar places are waived today.  That means a lot of Kimbaps are being packed (along with Choco pies and Pororo drinks) as I type this in anticipation of a day of fun at whatever fun place the child chooses.  You can bet that nobody in this family will be going anywhere near any of these places anytime today.  We will be staying far far away from the madness.  I shudder to think of the lines and crowds.

Not that Children's day will pass quietly this year for our family.  I do admit we are getting swept up in the excitement.  I want it to be different for my kids than it was for me.  I still like that they can celebrate how other cultures celebrate things in May (and isn't it interesting how all of these fun things fall in May?  there's Cinco de Mayo too!) but we have this cool one that's our own all this time.  When I explained what the day was for, Jun, whose behaviors sometimes overshadows his accomplishments, puffed up and said "I'm a children!  The day is for me!"

When Jun gets home today we will celebrate their childhood.  There will be gifts for him and Gracie.  Books mostly.  Hardback ones to fill out their library.  Then we will probably gorge on video games for him and play some beauty shop for her and then eat a dinner of their choice.  Probably keem and rice with chocolate milk (I never understood how they could stomach this combo!)  But before dinner, a prayer of thanks for these lovely children who fill this home and our lives with such love and joy. 

 

 

A wish for all our Kimchi children today:  May they grow healthy and strong into compassionate people who change the world for the better. 

- jooliyah who will be playing a mario game on the wii and getting her toenail painted by a three year old in a few hours after writing this.

LAAPFF Itsy Bitsy Shorts

If you and your kids find yourself in LA this weekend, the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival is once again having its children's program, Itsy Bitsy Shorts!  It's the third time they've done this, and this year they will show 5 kid-friendly animated shorts, two of them by Korean artists, as well as a live performance with the legendary Kristina Wong.

The event is free, you just need to reserve tickets here.  I went last year with both my kids and we had a blast!

Here is the official info:

LOS ANGELES ASIAN PACIFIC FILM FESTIVAL --
For our youngest festival guests comes the 3rd edition of ITSY BITSY SHORTS, the Saturday morning family program (appropriate for ages 2 and up). Enjoy an animation showcase (5 films, approx. 24 mins. total) in comfy stadium style seating, then join us for an interactive performance of "Grey Gardens for Children," featuring legendary performance artist Kristina Wong with a surprise ensemble.

Date: Saturday, May 7 · 11:00am - 1:00pm
Location: CGV Cinemas - Koreatown
621 S Western Ave. (Between 6th Street and Wilshire Blvd)
Los Angeles, CA

Films: OUT ON A LIMB (by Daisy Lin). ORANGE CITY (by Qingyuan Wang). ELECTRIC CAR (by Max Porter, Ru Kuwahata aka Tiny Inventions). WHERE, THERE, HERE (by Soyeon Kim). CHERRY ON THE CAKE (by Hyebin Lee).

Ever wish you could nosh on Asian snacks at the movies? Use your savings from the FREE PROGRAM & FREE PARKING and head to CGV's cinema cafe and concession stand for taro ice cream and dried squid!

Ticket reservations and film details at http://laapff.festpro.com/films/detail/itsy_bitsy_shorts_2011_2011

--Julie

 

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Recent conversations, FB status updates and varying degrees of parent status of fellow parent friends have me wondering about the great myth of “the light at the end of the tunnel.”

  ***

I don’t know what’s in the water, but I have what seems to be a lot girlfriends who are expecting in the upcoming months.  All of them are looking for the light at the end of [their] tunnel.  (*I apologize for the crude joke . . .) Some have spent a blissful 6, 7, 8, or 9 months of pregnancy; others have suffered swelling, nausea, and “tummy issues” for 4, 5, or 6 months; while others have had a combination of both the sweet and the sour.

Then there are my mother-in-arms who have infants and toddlers.  The tantrums, sleepless nights, crying, screaming and disciplining.  And those are just the parents… Their light at the end of the tunnel comes down to wanting a semi-regular schedule, a little person they can reason with without the tears (mom's or child's) and maybe getting into the shower before 2:30 in the afternoon or eating a hot meal that does not include partially chewed-on rice and ghim rolls.

There are my parent pals who have school-aged children. The light at the end of their tunnel is blocked by soccer/basketball/t-ball/baseball practice schedules, music lessons, language school, Sunday school/CCD, gymnastics, endless birthday parties/slumber parties and ensuring their well-roundedness as responsible, compassionate members of a global community on top of burgeoning school assignments and other academic pressures.

And of course there are the tween/teens.  Changing bodies, changing voices . . . changing smells(?!).  Hormones, tantrums, sleepless nights, crying, screaming and disciplining (it’s infants and toddlers re-do but super-sized!). New fears about sex[ting], drugs and rock and roll in the car while driving… Where has the child who used to fit in your lap gone? And who replaced him/her with this giant, taller-than-mom, locust eating his/her way through this week’s groceries in 3 day’s time?  The light at the end of the tunnel is a well-rounded child who will take their place in our world and a fridge that’s no longer raided by marauding teenage school-band gangs . . .

But alas, then it’s onto young adulthood.  You’d think watching your son/daughter get through college, medical an/or law school (Tiger Mom moment) and develop their place in our world would be the light at the end of the tunnel . . . Instead, it’s the time to see your offspring become the adult you always knew was in there, meet and fall in love with someone who makes them happy . . . and then observe as you watch them journey through their search for the light at the end of their tunnels.

--Angie in Texas knows not all tunnels are dark . . .

Love and Marriage

Love and marriage... love and marriage... *cue theme song from the Bundy Show*

I'm noticing how my relationship with my extended Korean family has changed since my marriage. I moved out and away for college so I don't see them all that often but I feel like there are these "unspoken" rules that now apply to me, since I am married and have kids.

1. I should give a cash gift, preferably a large cash gift, at family weddings. Some of my non-married cousins didn't give me a wedding gift. Their parent(s), however, did. This leads me to believe that until you are married, the nuclear family is considered as one unit for gift-giving purposes. I don't think I gave presents at my cousin's weddings either before I got married... granted I was rather young, not even working but still... I thought it was a little bit strange when most of my grown Korean cousins did not give me a wedding gift... but maybe that is the Korean way?