Kimchi Mamas

A Culinary Tour of Koreatown with Anthony Bourdain and a Couple Bros

Episode Two of "Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown," a new show on CNN that promises to "take you to exotic global destinations through Bourdain's unique lens," featured Los Angeles' Koreatown last week:

 

Anthony hung out with two famous Korean American "bad boys": Roy Choi of Kogi foodtruck fame and David Choe, street artist and newly-minted multimillionaire.  Roy and David took Anthony on a culinary tour of K-town, including surprising stops at Sizzler and Jollibee, as well as profiling their families' compelling stories.  Roy even gave an excellent breakdown of the 1992 LA Riots from the Korean community's point of view, a viewpoint that is not often explained so poignantly on mainstream media.

I really enjoyed the show, being a fan of all three gentlemen, and feeling more and more proud as they introduced Anthony to each new beloved haunt: the glories of Beverly Soon Tofu, the rohsu gui at Dong Il Jang, and this amazing-looking dumpling place called Myung In Dumplings which I now have made my life's goal to find and set up camp in.  The Koreatown they showed him was sexy, delicious, laid-back, and rife with gorgeous examples of the ever-fabled melting pot.  

One stick in my craw was the lack of a strong female Korean American voice.  David Choe's mom was featured quite heavily, which I appreciated, but if he's looking for "bad Koreans," he would have benefitted from getting to know some Korean renegade riot girls too!  I personally would have loved to have taken Anthony around Galleria market, fed him gamja tang, haemul jungol, and soondae, and drink him under the table at the noraebang!  Maybe next time, bro!

--Julie

Intimate Partner Violence

Today I attended a conference about intimate partner violence (IPV), or domestic violence (DV). It was the 10th anniversary celebration of some sorts. I don't work directly in the field but my work partners with the folks who do the work.

Why am I writing this post on the Kimchi Mamas blog? First because it's near and dear to my heart and second because Korean women (and their children, wives of Korean men, women of all color, and even some men) continue to be victims of intimate partner violence. I want to do my part to help it stop.

I learned today that IPV is complicated. I knew that but I think I still had some amount of judgement deep within me. It really is not as simple as "Why don't you just leave?"

The facts are that most women do end abusive relationships. It takes an average of 5 - 7 years and many attempts before she leaves, but still, she does leave. These women are resilient and should be commended for their resiliency.

I also learned that children who witness domestic violence can be scarred for life. I mean, I kind of knew that from personal experience. The worst thing that my dad did was get a knife from the kitchen and threaten to kill my mom and us. I think I partially blocked this from memory but I remember that knife vividly. I was very young. What I didn't know is that children's brain development can actually be affected by witnessing IPV and that they can get post traumatic stress disorder as well. And most of us probably also know that there is a cycle of violence. Children from violent homes grow up to either become abusers or victims themselves. 

At the conference today, one of the speakers shared a training video that all police officers have to watch. They were pictures and voice recordings of actual victims. As soon as they started playing the 911 calls from children, I had to leave the room because I could not control my emotions. As a mom, it just hit a nerve that never was there before.

Open Thread Thursday

Secret marriage (and divorce) and (possibly racist?) review of Please Look After Mom.

What's on your mind today?

 

- Kimchi mamas

Postsecret . . . Open Discussion

I saw this on the 2/13/2011 postsecret.com.

What are your thoughts?

 

--Angie in Texas "marr[ied] a white man."

Marital Status and Gender in Korean Family Words

My last post got me thinking... marital status and gender are so important in Korean culture, relative to U.S. of American culture. In Migook (Beautiful Country - the Korean word for USA), how you are addressed by the members of your family doesn't really change when you get married and doesn't depend on your gender. In Korea, it changes a lot when a person gets married. Likewise, what you call another person depends a lot on gender, both of the one being called upon, and the one doing the calling.

1. A woman sometimes calls her boyfriend "oppa" (older brother, older male friend) when they are dating, but after marriage, the use of the term "oppa" to call your husband is generally not promoted. One is encouraged to use the word yobo or jaghi instead. If you called your husband oppa in front of your in-laws, you might get a "look" from your MIL or a stern scolding from you FIL. But some in laws might be OK with it too...

Marrying Out

I am the product of an interracial marriage; my dad is white and my mom is Korean. And because of my experience as the biracial child of an interracial couple, I have always felt like race should have no place when it comes to love. Call me naive, but it confuses and offends me to to hear people talk about how they wouldn't date or marry a person of such-and-such race. Of course, attraction and love are tricky, complicated subjects when it comes to race (i.e. when does attraction cross over into fetishism?). But, ultimately, it makes my head explode to consider the idea that I would refuse to fall in love - or refuse to marry somebody I loved - if that person were of a different race than me. The idea is to me - a biracial person - personally hurtful.

Ultimately, however, I married a Korean American man. Being Korean was not on my Future Husband Checklist, but marrying my husband and starting a family with him has connected me more deeply to my Korean American identity. I am both proud and grateful for that. I like that my husband and I share a culture, identity and experience as second generation Korean Americans and I love being able to share that with our kids, but I know also that neither or marital bliss nor our familial strength are based predominately on those commonalities.

These experiences - as a mixed-race person married to a somebody of my own race (sort of) - make the recent report on the rise in interracial marriage by the Pew Research Center endlessly fascinating to me. Even more exciting perhaps is the section of their report on the Millennial Generation (teens and 20-somethings, that would include me) that reports on the near-universal acceptance of interracial dating and marriage among my generation. The first report on interracial marriage claims that 1 in 7 U.S. marriages is interracial or interethnic and this has got a lot of people very excited. As groundbreaking as this might seem, this CNN opinion piece by Cornell professor Daniel T. Litcher suggests that everybody calm down, take a deep breath and realize that the reason we've seen such a rise in the first place is that the baseline was so low to begin with. It was only in 1967, after all, that interracial marriage became legal. In other words, we've come a long way, but only because there were virtually no interracial marriages a couple generations ago.

Korean versus Western

It's crunch time here in Texas . . .

It's been a whirlwind courtship.  From a March meeting, to a May proposal and now an October wedding. But the rest of our lives . . .

(photos after the jump)

Email from my "Aunty Jo"

Much like Stefania, I also have a relative who sends me random emails...  It's not my mom (she doesn't even know the alphabet) but my aunt (gomo). Here is my Aunty Jo's email of the week.

*********************************************

To: Mary

From: Aunty Jo

Subject: Fw: UCLA STUDY 

UCLA Study (VERY INTERESTING & SHORT)

A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is In her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.

Aunty Jo

Your Realtor for life

****************************************

=)

It got a chuckle out of me...

- Mary

A Source of Shame

Communication is one of the things, if not THE ONE thing, that make a marriage work.  I’d like to think I’ve learned from my first marriage – and preparing for the second one has made me more aware of the critical role communication plays in a successful marriage.

Recently we’ve been communicating about . . .

The Konnecting Power of Korean Komfort Food

It’s official: I am engaged.

Though the engagement wasn’t a total surprise, the proposal was . . . and really it was THE perfect proposal for us.  (A motorcycle ride – two bikes: his and mine, a Texas Hill Country river, grand cypress trees, the most beautiful engagement ring and the most loving, patient, caring, handsome man I know on one knee.)  * Swoon *