Kimchi Mamas

Goodbye Halmoni

My grandmother had six children. A boy, and then a girl, and then another boy, and then another girl, and then another boy, and then another girl. My dad was the middle boy.

A professor of population studies asked me during a discussion if my grandmother had six children and if my mother had two. I answered yes. Yes and yes. Apparently, Korea had very strict population control and those were the ideal numbers for those days. I was quite dismayed to learn that my family was so typical. The number of cousins and siblings so determined by governmental forces.

You Know You Grew Up Korean/Korean American/Korean Candadian If . . .

The local Sunday paper had a fun article today that got me thinking about growing up Korean in the US. So I've come up with a list of "You know you grew up *Korean/Korean American/Korean Canadian if..." of my own. 

Please add your "you know . . . " in the comments.  =)

--Your mother ever gave you guilt about . . . well anything... (Bonus if she pounded her chest with a fist while doing so!)

--You had 2 fridges: one for food and another for kimchi (or else ALL your food tasted like kimchi).

--You ever had to translate a school note, explain a holiday project and/or had a hard time completing the 3rd grade family tree project because there were some family secrets/shame involved and/or there were a lot of branches on that tree with "eemo and samchun".

--Your friends NEVER spent the night.

--Roasting ghim over the flame on the stove.

--You roasted that ghim for ghimbap - which you ate on day-long, car trips, got out, took a look around, ate the ghimbap and got back in the car. You always returned the same night.

--You were a hobo, a clown or a ghost for Halloween more than once.

--You got hit on the back of the head (a lot).

--Your aunt or uncle would pass you a $5 bill and tell your parents "te-sah, te-sah." He or she was your favorite aunt or uncle.

--Your mom made you sweep the carpet, told you you would DIE if you slept with the fan on pointed in your direction and/or were told that women should never sit directly on the floor.

--Threw up from having "han yak". It was usually dark brown, liquidy and has been boiling for hours...Or your mom smeared honey on a piece of boiled ginseng - like it would make it taste better.

--"Fought" for the dinner bill or insisted on paying while out with your non-Korean friends and then was SHOCKED when they were like "ok!"

--Your dad would get drunk, sing sad Korean folksongs and reminsce about the "good times."

--Thanksgiving dinner included the turkey and mashed potatoes, but also yakimandu, kimchi and japchae.

--Your parents scheduled long distance calls to relatives in Seoul and Busan/Pusan/Busan/Pusan.

--Hotdogs have always been a part of jampong.

--You would rather go to school than be sick at home where your mom would make you clean the house.

--Dad smoked Marlboros or Camels and drank Coors light or Budweiser. Mom never smoked or drank, to your knowledge.

--You had a used station wagon or Buick.

--Going to college was NOT an option.

--There's a random collection of blue produce rubberbands in the house.

--Beef jerky was your parents' favorite American snack food.

--You couldn't have a dog (or a cat).

--Hated eating kimchi with almost every meal as a child, but craved it when you went to college.

--You've heard your mom say "why would I ___ for that? I can ___ that!"

--Two words: Korean School. After church lunch in the Fellowship Hall on Sundays.

So what's YOUR "you know if..."

Laughing about childhood because crying isn't as much fun!

--Angie in Texas

*The side note I'd like to add is that this will mostly apply to those of us who grew up Stateside in the 70's, 80's and 90's.

 

Happy International Women's Day!

Hey Kimchi Mamas!  

Did you know that we have our own day?  Here are some tips from World Vision on how to commemorate this special day.

1. Save a woman’s life in child birth: 
Did you know that in countries like Afghanistan, Sierra Leone, and Bolivia, having a baby is one of the most dangerous things a woman can do? By helping train local midwives in remote communities, you could save a life. Visit StrongWomenStrongWorld.org to learn more.

2. Mentor a girl close to home: 
A growing poverty rate, poor-performing schools, and teen violence make it tough to be a girl growing up here in our own country. Reach out and influence the life of a young girl in your own community by volunteering as a tutor or mentor. Get connected at BBBS.org.

3. Use your voice to stop trafficking: 
Human trafficking and sexual exploitation affects girls and women in horrific ways all around the world, but the Trafficking Victims Protection Act in the US Senate can help end the practice. Contact your Senators and ask them to renew this bill to protect women and girls, both here in the US and around the world.

4. Invest in a small business owner: 
Websites like WorldVisionMicro.org or Kiva.org connect you to hardworking women entrepreneurs, waiting to realize their dream of a dressmaking business, chicken farm, or food stall that will help them provide for their family. Even better, when the loan is paid off, your donated funds are loaned out again and again to make a bigger impact.

5. Provide the ticket to education—clean water: 
One of the most common reasons girls in poor communities miss schooling is the lack of clean water in their village. Millions of girls and women spend several hours each day fetching water—often dirty and dangerous to their health—instead of attending school. Give the gift of clean water, and open the door to education for a young girl.

6. Band together with like-minded women: 
Whatever your passion for helping other women, you’ll do it better—and have more fun doing it—with other women excited about the same cause. National movements like Women of Vision can connect you to a network of resources while allowing you to grow your own local group of women who want to make the world better for girls and their mothers.

7. Tell the women in your life that you care: 
Empowering women starts right in our families, workplaces, and neighborhoods. Celebrate this International Women’s Day by writing a note of thanks to that teacher who encouraged you years ago, picking up coffee for that new mom in your office who’s struggling to balance it all, or telling your own sister, daughter, or mother how much you appreciate them.

###

World Vision is a Christian humanitarian organization dedicated to working with children, families and their communities worldwide to reach their full potential by tackling the causes of poverty and injustice. World Vision serves all people, regardless of religion, race, ethnicity or gender.

 

Save My Friend

Looks like someone read my request! (Just kidding, I know I'm not that powerful.)

There is now a petition to pressure China to not send North Korean refugees back to North Korea, where they will be severely punished, if not killed. If you have two seconds (who doesn't have two seconds?) please go to www.savemyfriend.org and sign the petition.

Many people have used change.org to successfully bring about a change. (Remember when banks were considering getting rid of free checking accounts? Yeah, Change.org!)

The petition already has more than 165,000 but they need more signatures. The goal is 500,000. Thank you kimchi mama community!

 

- Mary 

Heejun's Rise to Stardom

American Idol's Heejun Han is the Korean American zeitgeist.  He is showing the world how funny, charming, thoughtful, and kind our boys can be, and why we love them so much.  He is goofy, but with a palpable gravity that shows incredible character and depth.  And his voice?  He can do soulful, he can do gravelly, he can keep up with the smooth R&B operators.  Most of all, he sings like a red-blooded male.  He sings with REAL BALLZ.  Yes, with a Z!  Check it out:

I honestly couldn't contain myself while watching that clip.  I squealed like a schoolgirl seeing him laughing and dancing with those special needs children.  And when he told the audience how he fell into a deep depression, and those kids helped him recover, my heart shattered into a million pieces, and I turned into a puddle of goo.  A big pile of LOVE GOO!  OPPAAAAA!!!

Ahem, sorry.

It also broke my heart when he kept dogging on his looks.  I'm all for self-deprecating humor, but I think he really believes he's not good-looking, which is total BS. Just look at this screenshot:

He looks like any Korean actor in a Maxim coffee commercial!  Heejun, this ajumma gives you the Kimchi Cougar Sleazy Eyebrow Raise of Approval!

Sorry, Jeremy Lin, but Heejun has stolen my heart.  I hope this doesn't go down as another turnover.  Hoo-ah!  

(Jeremy, I'm actually just kidding about the turnover thingy.  I still love you.  Call me!)

--Julie

Open Thread Thursday

Are you getting swept up in the Linsanity?

Hoping Hee Jun Han will last a while on American Idol?

What's on your mind today?

- kimchi mamas

Black Day

In Korea, Valentine's Day is celebrated a little bit different. On February 14th, the women give gifts to their significant others. Only the women do the giving on this day. March 14th, called White Day, is when men give gifts to their significant others. Leave it to the Koreans to separate everything based on gender.

And the coolest day? It's Black Day. On April 14th, those who are single get together to eat 짜장면 jajangmyeon or noodles with black bean sauce.

I kind of like this idea. Even though I'm married, I like any excuse to eat 짜장면, even though it's like 1500 calories. No wonder it tastes so good. It tastes amazing with a dash of red pepper flakes and pickled daikon with vinegar.

Random tidbit: I love this Korean song and it references 짜장면.

 

Hoping you had a good Valentine's Day.

- Mary

Call for Submissions at KoreanAmericanStory.org

Do you or your family members have stories to share for an anthology devoted to the Korean immigrant experience in the 70's and 80's?  If so, please consider submitting it for publication at KoreanAmericanStory.org.  They are collecting content in a variety of formats, and they will compensate for the stories they select for publication.

Details can be found here.

--Julie

Kimchi Mama Honor Roll: Hee Jun Han on "American Idol"

"American Idol" featured a Korean American contestant yesterday named Hee Jun Han.  With the goofy music playing in the background, the extended interview, and the overenthusiasm, I didn't know what to expect.  But Hee Jun, who hails from Flushing, NY, definitely gave "American Idol" some motherland flavor, from complimenting Ryan Seacrest on his small face (even comparing his face to his fist, which is SO KOREAN!) to his insistent self-deprecation.  He was super-endearing and gracious to the judges, and I think he's destined to become a fan favorite!

I'll be rooting for him! Hee Jun-ah FIGHTING!!!

--Julie

The Korean Man's Anger

By now you've probably heard or read about Pinkberry co-founder, Young Lee, attacking a homeless man with a tire iron. When I was reading some of the details of what happened, and also accounts of his previous shady behaviors (like making threats against someone's life), I was like... I can totally picture a lot of Korean men doing this.

I do think that Korean men, in general, are quite hot tempered.

Why is that? Is it the prevalent use of alcohol and alcoholism? Too much emphasis on honor and respect? Too much pressure? Male chauvinism? Superiority issues? Imaturity? 

I'm not sure. Probably a combination of all of these. Whatever the recipe for rage is, Korean culture sure seems to have all the right ingredients.

I'm not innocent either. I've been classified as a "fiesty" one. I do get angry... but I don't think I would ever chase anyone with a tire iron. I scream at my kids and snap at my husband... occassionally cuss at bad drivers.

What are your reactions to this story?

- Mary