Last week, my daughter's preschool held a panel discussion for parents interested in sending their children to public school in San Francisco. Public education is a particularly hot topic in San Francisco because we don't have neighborhood schools, we have a lottery system. You choose seven schools (from all across the city) and hope that you get placed in one of your choices.
I was particularly interested in attending this panel because the participants were made up of former preschool parents who had their kids in public kindergartens. The panel leader was Lily Kim Murphy, an Asian woman.
The panel went off without a hitch with parents sharing incredibly personal stories and helpful information. My take-away was that diversity really needs to be a positive personal/family value for parents to consider public schools here. We are an incredibly diverse city and our public schools reflect this.
By the time the Q & A session started, I had been listening for two+ hours and my brain was full-up. I choose that moment to leave and collect my children from the on-site babysitter.
I wish I had stayed.
Apparently one of the parents at the school made a comment that I can't stop thinking about. This parent had been touring schools and had a problem with every school she looked at being "mostly Asian" (or "overwhelmingly Asian" or having "too many Asians"...however it was that she put it). Granted, I wasn't there so what I know of the tone and substance of the comment was related to me by two friends that did stay.
Could she have just been making a general observation? From what I've been told, no she wasn't.*
Murphy's response was something along the lines of, "I'm Asian...you live in a predominately Asian neighborhood..." What exactly was this parent trying to say?
What I keep asking myself is, "Was this a harmless comment or is there something deeper behind it?" My gut reaction is to seek out this parent and ask her what she meant and maybe forward her the link to Anti-Racist Parent. I also have a gut reaction to want to suggest diversity training for our preschool or maybe just her. (Jen? Carmen?) Does the school even have a responsibility to address this issue? Do I say something on the school's message board? Do I chalk her comment up to her being ignorant? Do I gently suggest that maybe private school is the place for her? What recourse would you take?
On a more base level, I am saddened that our family is part of the same school community as this family. I am saddened that someone could live in an Asian community and be touring diverse schools and consider Asian-ness a negative.
I'm still processing this comment so I don't pretend to have thought it through all the way, but I feel strongly that something needs to be said. I'm tired of always having to "let it go." This time, I don't think I can.
—Stefania Pomponi Butler
*As I stated in the comments below. I'm trying to understand the context of her comment. It was related to me as this person having a "problem" with "so many Asians." Someone regarding just about any SF school could say that there are a lot Asians and they'd be right. I'm trying to understand where the person was coming from. Not hearing it first hand is certainly an issue, but I trust the people who related the tone and substance of comment to me. Their reaction to her comment was shock and disbelief.
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