This past weekend, we walked down to a local coffee shop since the
weather is finally getting nice. Right when i was trying to back our
stroller out of the coffee shop, this man steps in. He was pretty much
blocking us in.
"Is your daughter Chinese?" he asks.
"No," I say. "I'm Chinese American."
"Oh," he says. "Do you speak Mandarin?"
"No," I say. "I'm third generation American."
"Oh. Well, you know, people in China said that I speak mandarin better than a Chinese person."
At this point, I started to go off on him about how I was born and
raised in America, and how I don't speak Chinese and.. and... and...
then he got all like, "Hey, I'm just trying to make conversation." Blah
blah blah. He was a middle-aged white male, and clearly I was getting
sketchy vibes from him. Did he not realize that i was in the process
of backing the stroller OUT of the coffeeshop?
It frustrates me that he brought Tae into it. That he made all
kinds of assumptions about us. That he couldn't talk about god damn
weather if he really just wanted make conversation. It frustrates me
that I just get angry and don't have it in me to turn this into a
teachable moment. It frustrates me that in situations like this, I am powerless. He had the power to make me uncomfortable and upset, and I had nothing.
What do you say in situations like this?
~ eliaday
*cross posted at bloogs blowing by
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