This post is a rant, be warned.
I just came home with my husband who just had lasix surgery. Anyway, while we were waiting for the operation, the surgeon came and started chit-chatting with me. His first question was. "Where were you born?" Or "Were you born in America?" Or something like that. I replied, "I was born in Korea." He replied, "It's interesting that you have a Chinese husband." I replied, "No, he was born in Korea too."
Then he went on to tell me how the Korean Ribs from Costco were so good and asked if I ate kimchi.
Later on, after the surgery, when he was examining my husband's eyes, he was all, "Does your wife make good kimchi?" My husband replied, "She doesn't make kimchi." He was all, "Oh, really?" Or something like that. Then he went on about how the Korean Ribs from Costco were so good...
-Mary
I don't know why this bugged me so much. Usually, I'm not very annoyed when I am asked about my ethnicity or stuff like that... but this interaction annoyed me a lot.
Maybe because I felt like in his eyes, the fact that we were Korean trumped the fact that we were his patient just like everyone else. He didn't say anything about the surgery before or after. Not a single thing! He didn't even ask if we had any questions. It's like, as soon as he saw my Asian face, he had to get to the bottom of it and when he found out that I was Korean, my whole identity to him was defined by Korean-ness. I was not interested in chit-chatting with him about kimchi or the Korean ribs at Costco! My husband was about to have surgery/just had surgery and my mind was filled with that! And all the instructions about which drop to put when starting what day that I tried to keep straight in my head.
I felt like blurting out, "Stop talking about kimchi and Korean ribs you idiot! I am NOT interested in talking about kimchi with you! Just because you know what kimchi is, doesn't mean that you know my culture or who I am. Just treat me like you would any other patient and try to ignore my Asian face."
If he had asked, "Are you from North or South Korea?" I think I would have gone over the edge.
I might be being too harsh here and I know that he wasn't really being racist but I thought that he, being a surgeon and all, and living in the Bay Area, wouldn't be so fascinated by my skin-color or my being Korean. None of the other staff said anything or asked me anything about "Where I came from."
My whole interaction with him probably wasn't more than 5 minutes but it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I probably showed it in my face too when I started not replying to his comments about kimchi and didn't laugh at his joke about kimchi.
I'm probably thinking/writing about this interaction too much so I think I'll stop here.
End rant.
