I am SICK and TIRED of seeing celebrity women (and in some cases girls) on the cover of magazines parading around in their perfect post-partum/pregnant poses! Photos of Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie, Jamie Lynn-Spears, Jennifer Lopez,Halle Barry and Heidi Klum weeks(!) after giving birth on the red carpet (and in Klum’s case lighted thong on the catwalk) are making me MAD. Not angry . . . MAD!
It’s already hard enough to look at your flabby tummy right after giving birth, but throw into the mix being a new mother (and every time you have a baby you’re a new mother), post-partum blues/depression, raging hormones, the lack of consistent sleep and boobs the size of basketballs but swollen like a beached whale, the last thing I want to be accosted with on my 45 minute "vacation" to the grocery store are images of Jolie weeks after birth rockin’ a size 2!
So I made some calls:
My doula gave me a great piece of advice: it took your body 9 months to get here, give yourself at least 9 months to get it back.
My OB/GYN said: your body isn’t meant to go back to the way it was before . . . you’ve just delivered another human being. And it’s against general obstetric advice to exercise, even moderately, in the first 6-8 weeks after giving birth.
My primary care physician said: as long as you’re healthy and the baby is healthy, there’s nothing wrong with an extra few pounds. And it is NOT healthy for a woman to lose all her pregnancy weight within a matter of weeks.
And then I got to thinking . . . These are C-E-L-E-B-R-I-T-I-E-S! They have $200/hour personal trainers who give them one-on-one advice/training while a full-time nanny minds the child(ren) and a private chef preparing the perfectly balanced, nutritious and delicious meal in the kitchen. Not to mention some of them have night-nannies: people who take care of the children at night so they don’t miss out on their full night’s sleep. And I’m sure all of them have housekeepers to do the dishes, laundry, sweeping and vacuuming. . .
Yes, I know that the individual person herself is the one doing the work (it’s not like someone else is doing Jennifer Gardner’s crunches and sit ups), but given all the freedom and privileges they have, it think it’s a little more than unfair to us "regular" mommies. . .
Then there’s the issue of “the mommy makeover”. It’s a 3-for-1 cosmetic procedure recommended for all moms! It’s a breast augmentation (or lift), tummy tuck and liposuction. In the past couple of years, the increases in the “mommy makeover” have consistently risen. (Don't get me started on celebrities - and beauty pagent queens - and their [often] denials about plastic surgery!)
And if that’s not enough for you to feel bad about your body . . . there’s cosmetic laser. vaginal. reconstruction. That’s right: lasers pointed at your va-GINA! All in the name of “looking and feeling better and more youthful” (“and tighter”). I’m not kidding about that last part . . . there’s actually an advertisement for LASER. VAGINAL. RECONSTRUCTION. that says “tighter” but really, my personal favorite is the “more youthful” part. (That old joke about 'adding another couple of stitches down there' has evolved, people, and in my tiny opinion - not in a good way.)
I think it’s unfair for us as mothers, real mothers who live without chefs, personal trainers, night nurse, housekeepers, nannies, plastic surgeons, and million dollar contracts, to be accosted by images like these. I’m mad because occasionally I will hear from some man (and every now and then a baby-less woman) that if Jamie Lynn-Spears can do it, why can’t all moms . . . and I just want to scream.
-Angie in Texas is reconsidering the meaning of “laser quest” when she’s not lamenting near the magazine racks at the grocery store check out.
