You can do it all...

... just not at the same time.

This is my new mantra.  I spent four days at a leadership development program specifically focused on Asian Americans.  It was awesome.  I met women, who like me, struggled with figuring out how to balance work and family.  And repeatedly, they said, "You can do it all... just not at the same time."

I wish someone had told me that earlier.  I have that instinct in me - to always do more.  I think the high (or low?) point for me was when I overrode my adviser's advice not to take any classes during the semester when I was due with my daughter.  Slow down for pregnancy?  Put my education on hold?  While I pop out babies?  No problem, I can do it all.

And the thing was, I thought I was doing it all.  Everyone commended me for my commitment to my education.  People called me super woman for managing a crazy work schedule and a crazy personal schedule.  And all that ever did was encourage me to take on more, to keep going.  Because hey, I am superwoman, right?

Now, I'm just overwhelmingly tired.  I still have these overachieving urges to go back to school, to take on additional responsibilities at work.  I have a hard time saying NO to what look like good opportunities.  I spend almost every moment that I'm not working with my daughter.  And when I'm not with my daughter, I'm with my finance.  And rarely am I just with myself.

I'm glad that someone finally told me to slow down.  Which isn't the same as compromising on my personal goals and desires.  Yes, I intend to go back to grad school.  But that doesn't mean that I need to  get married, back to school, work, and pop out more babies all at once.  It just means maybe I'll go back to school in 10 years, have babies in 5 years, and get married in one.

It takes a little bit of the pressure off.  Just a little.  That I don't need to tackle everything tomorrow.  What has helped you manage all the roles in your life?  What did you struggle with along the way?

-- eliaday, who is a recovering overachiever.