I recently watched Dear My Friends on Netflix. It’s a Korean Drama series about a group of elderly friends, mostly women, and their daily struggles with friendship, love, health, and family. All the important things. I found myself alternating between laughter and tears in a matter of seconds. Laughing and crying and laughing and crying. The writing is exquisite but the translation is shit so #sorrynotsorry.
Anyway, I was reminded how much Koreans talk about death. Especially the older folks. My mom has started, in the last few years, to say things like:
- It’d be better if I die soon.
- Old people just need to die.
- I need to die soon.
- People should just die when they get to a certain age.
If we weren’t Korean, I’d think that she needed to be on suicide watch. But this is very normal and common for older Korean folks to say. (All the while taking every vitamin or supplement under the sun to be as healthy as possible.)
Death and comedy seems an odd pair but the show does it so well. In one plotline, a woman gets cancer and is talking to her friend about it, who has already had her battle with cancer. The conversation is so so sad and serious, with them discussing who should be the one to tell the daughter. But there are some hilariously funny moments too with the friend suggesting that all their virtuous chastity and faithfulness to their husbands has been for shit and that they should “give it away generously to anyone who wants it” from now on. Then, they lament that no one would stand in that line even if they were giving it away for free. There is an abundance of Korean cussing which adds to the hilarity.
I used to think it was morbid when I heard older Korean folks talk about death but now I think it’s somewhat healthy. By talking about it casually, there is more opportunity for everyone to think about their own mortality. And to prepare, in ever subtle ways, for the inevitable.
- Mary
