Kimchi Mamas

Asking ourselves the right question...

 

"What's next?"

Liz Murray, the author of Breaking Night, talks about how she taught herself to make positive choices when she was tempted to make destructive ones.

She talks about the times when she would wake up amongst many other homeless kids who were sleeping on the floor, and having to walk over their bodies toward the door. She explains how she experienced the desire to stay home and sleep as all the other homeless kids were doing, but did not do so.

She recalls thinking about her past, all the bad things that had happen to her, being homeless, and her deep and deserved sense of self pity. All of this made her want to stay home, go back to sleep, and wallow. However, she found that to make the choice that would take her to her goal of finishing school and going to college, making something good out of her life, she would ask herself the question, “what’s next?”  

She sensed that the empowered choice was about the future, and that the action that she needed to take to get to the positive future was heading out the door to school; this was the positive change that she wanted.  It started with a simple question.

I have been struggling with a speech writing project for the past month or so.  I have written many drafts of it, and have been happy with none of them. I had never really written a real speech before, and certainly not one with the weight that this speech has on it.

While feeling discouraged and sorry for myself for not being an instantly prolific speech writer, I followed Liz Murray’s advice and asked myself, “What’s next?”  I put my two hands on my keyboard and began typing.

I broke it down in the format of the five paragraph essay structure that I had taught my students to do in the past, and began filling in the ideas.

Every time I felt self-doubt, I asked, “what’s next?”  Then, I wrote the next point, the next point, and the point after that.

I am proud to say that I wrote my first draft of a speech that finally looks and sounds like the speech I want it to be.

I am sincerely grateful to Liz Murray for the question that she thought of as an amazing teenager, “What’s next?”  

What’s next for me?  The second draft!

“What’s next” for you?

 

- nancy

For your consideration

 

 

A dear friend of mine picked up my book on parenting recently and said, “you know this is going to help a lot of people, you really should get it out there and let people know it exists.”

 

 

My book, “Teach Them How To Fish”, is an academic coaching guide for parents.  It is a look at what really helps a child be successful in the most organic and natural way possible.  It addresses the question, “how  can we parents provide the right soil for our children to grow and be nurtured in so that they can rise to the occasion of their own lives in a way that is fulfilling for them?”

It is about doing everything that we can to provide a solid foundation for our children, looking at our own selves to teach by example how to be successful.

I wrote this book after my son successfully entered UC Berkeley School of Law at age 19, which was his goal; I recalled the coaching methods that I utilized to guide him.  I also used the same method to help improve the academic standings of other students and clients of mine.

My book is available at my website Teachthemhowtofish.com.

 - Nancy

Kimchi Mama Shares Her "KoreanAmericanStory"

Our own Shinyung Oh shares her story on MyKoreanAmericanStory.Org.  Here's the link: Shinyung. 

We are truly lucky to have her here with us!

THANK YOU Shinyung for sharing your stories with us!

 

 

 

 

To Specialize or Not To Specialize. That is the Question.

(Please forgive the "first-world problems" feel of this post.)

As my children have gotten older (they are now almost 10 and just a touch over 12), I have noticed a disturbing pattern that I may have been unaware in the past: specialization.

My daughter's into soccer. She plays in a youth sports group and they practice for about 1 hour once a week, play once a week and the season is only about 2 1/2 months long at a time. She plays probably 2-3 "seasons" a year. Though she is 12, most of the girls on her team are 10 and 11. They "play up". Playing up is based on the theory that if you raise the level of competition they will play to meet that challenge (or something like that).

Many of the girls on her team will probably leave in the next season or two to move into "club" soccer. Club soccer here is more . . . specialized. This is when teams practice 3-4 times a week for an hour or an hour and a half each practice and will play 2-3 games a weekend. They will also travel to surrounding areas (and in Texas that could mean 3+ hours of driving) and play in tournaments that go on for entire weekends (Saturdays and Sundays).

My son was participating in Tae Kwon Do and in tennis.  A few months ago, he had to make a very difficult choice: he had to choose.  He is 10 years old and he was being forced into specializing. As a 10 year old he would do tennis 2 times a week and then TKD 2 times a week and depending on visitation weekends, TKD sparring on Fridaysa and TKD tournament team on Saturdays or a tennis tournament. Tennis was 2 private lessons a week plus 'clinic' for a total of about 7 hours of tennis a week. This wasn't enough . . . his new schedule is tennis 4 days a week (about 10-12 hours a week) and an average of 2 tournaments a month (tournaments begin on Fridays and end on Sundays if you're playing well).

I look around and I see it amongst many of our friends: a 12 year old who plays club volleyball - tournaments are all weekend long and consist of many games per day, a 14 year old who is now home schooled so she can pratice tennis 8+ hours a day, and a 17 year old who has been taking tennis lessons for 12 years.

And this is just the sports side. I know children who practice piano 15-20 hours a week, a neighbor's child plays drums for school, church and 2 bands (he's 16) and on and on and on...

In all of these cases (and from personal experience) I have been told that kids HAVE to specialize if they want to remain competitive. Competitive for school, college, scholarships, professionally.

As parents we want what's best for our children.

We want opportunities for them that we didn't have.

We give them the best so they can be their best. 

We want them to be competive and have an edge.

To have THE edge.

 

 

But what does that mean? And at what cost?

Kim and the World Bank . . . What a "Thriller"!

Jim Yong Kim was named the new President of the World Bank today. . . and that is COOL!

But Kim will always have a place in my heart for THIS performance (around the 1:26 mark) while President of Dartmouth College.

Congratulations President Kim!!

I'm sure you've made your own Kimchi Mama proud!!

 

--Angie in Texas *hearts* MJ no matter what!

Parenting Style

I haven't read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom. Just the excerpt in the Wall Street Journal. But I got to thinking, what kind of parents did I have? My mom was pretty much out of the picture, so what kind of dad did I have? He certainly was not a Tiger Father.

My dad did not sit with me and drill me on math. He did not make me practice the piano or the violin. I never had to learn tennis. I don't think he even owns a tennis racket. He never asked me if I did my homework, or even if I had homework. I had no curfew. I consistently came home well past midnight on Fridays. I never had any lessons. I could do whatever I wanted to on the weekends. I watched TV, Korean dramas, and played video games. I was in the school musical.

Test Day in Korea is Serious Business

Today was TEST DAY in Korea.  Yikes.  I first suspected something yesterday.  There was an unusual amount of people out and about.  And an even more noticeable amount of ambulances screeching through the streets.  Something was up.  The American me just didn't know what.

Luckily, my mom was around to enlighten me.  She told me that today was Test Day.  Well, she told me this yesterday so she actually said "Tomorrow is THE Korea Test Day."  and she look at me.  And I looked at her.  And I had no idea what she meant.  Did it mean they were going to have a nuclear test?  Did it mean we were all going to be tested on something as one mass?  This was getting interesting.

Michelle Rhee - my new hero

I've only recently gotten into Oprah. I didn't want to be THAT woman so I resisted liking Oprah for many years but with the help of a DVR, it was too much to resist.

 

 

Michelle A Rhee was on Oprah the other day. She talked about some of the stuff she's been up to, like firing the principal of her kid's school. =)

 

Open Thread Thursday

It's late but... It's Open Thread Thursday. What's on your mind?

Today I read this article about 20 Something Men (at church).

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/panelists/mark_driscoll/2010/08/the_world_is_filled_with_boys_who_can_shave.html

What do you think ladies, do we agree or no?

Also a more general and academic article about the "new" 20 Somethings (including women.)
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html

- Kimchi mamas

The Definitive Guide to Asian American Children's Literature

Summer vacation is upon us, and I'm sure a lot of you Kimchi Mamas out there are looking for summer book selections for your little ones!  Luckily, I happen to be high school buddies with Dr. Sarah Park, who recently sent me a link to an online bibliography specializing in APA and AIAN literature.  It is called Talk Story and it seeks to help families foster a home environment based on literacy and cultural awareness.  Be still my beating heart!

The book lists are meticulously curated and span a wide variety of cultures, subjects, and literacy levels.  I started drooling while perusing through the Korean and Korean American list, but honestly, all the other cultures' selections are equally as enticing.

Direct Links to Book Lists:

Asian Pacific American Book List

American Indian/Alaskan Native Book List

Happy reading!
Julie

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More on the Talk Story website:

Talk Story: Sharing stories, sharing culture is a literacy program that reaches out to Asian Pacific American (APA) and American Indian/Alaska Native (AIAN) children and their families. The program celebrates and explores their stories through books, oral traditions, and art to provide an interactive, enriching experience.  Children and their families can connect to rich cultural activities through Talk Story in their homes, libraries, and communities. We welcome all ethnicities to customize Talk Story as needed for your community family literacy needs.

More on Sarah:

Sarah Park is an Assistant Professor of Library and Information Science at St. Catherine University in St. Paul, Minnesota. Her research interests include representations of the Korean diaspora in children’s and young adult literature, youth services librarianship, social justice, transracial adoption, and Korean diasporic history