Kimchi Mamas

Spicy! Seeking Asian Female

Have you read this review of the documentary Seeking Asian Female?  What are your thoughts?  I have a non-Asian male acquaintance who has a definitive "type" of woman - tiny, feisty, hardworking, future-baby/homemaking Filpina; but he's also the uber-geeky American guy who long-distance "dates" women in other countries, making the occasional trip east when funds allow.

 

Seeking Asian Female, by Debbie Lum

 

I found the story kind of fascinating - I, too, cringed, but still, I couldn't stop reading.  Would you, like Sandy, stay so you wouldn't lose face upon finding that your knight in shining armor was not so shiny?  Does it matter how they start if they fall in love with each other in the end?

Netflix doesn't have the Debbie Lum's documentary quite yet, but I've saved it to my queue... now, will I actually watch this when it arrives in mailbox?

--Rikki

The Konnecting Power of Korean Komfort Food

It’s official: I am engaged.

Though the engagement wasn’t a total surprise, the proposal was . . . and really it was THE perfect proposal for us.  (A motorcycle ride – two bikes: his and mine, a Texas Hill Country river, grand cypress trees, the most beautiful engagement ring and the most loving, patient, caring, handsome man I know on one knee.)  * Swoon *

Meeting of the Mines

1. Mine: (possessive pronoun) used to refer to a thing or things belonging to or associated with the speaker.

2. Mine: (noun) a type of bomb placed on or just below the surface of the ground or in the water that detonates when disturbed by a person vehicle or ship.

This past weekend I formally introduced my soon-to-be-fiance to my family.

Interrogation: Please Don't Run Away!

I have started dating someone . . . and it's getting pretty serious pretty quick.  I have no issues with the speed at which things are happening . . . My family on the other hand may.

Though I'm kind of hoping this is one of those situations they surprise me . . .

Dating in the 21st Century - Asian Fetish Anyone?

I recently joined an online dating service.

Hello, my name is Angie in Texas and I date online.

The experience overall has been really positive.  I've met a few men who are interesting, smart, funny, good-looking, etc.  I have even gone on a few dates with these men.  And how do I know they're good-looking?  Because many of these sites (I use only one in particular) allow you to post photos of yourself and actually encourage you to do so - you generate more interest with photos . . .

The problem is that the photos are a dead give-away that I am Asian.  (There's a place to denote your ethnicity on your profile, but it's the photos that do it, I think . . .)  I have no issue with the fact that I am Asian.  I know it.  My family knows it.  Even my friends know it. 

The problem lies in the responding interested parties.

Like: Asian Fetish Man. 

Asian Fetish Man is the man who says "ni how" or "an yeoung" at the bookstore.  Asian Fetish Man is the guy you dated who on your first date wanted to know ALL about your "Asian-ess" or worse, kept talking about his experience with Asia, the people and the culture . . .  Asian Fetish Man is also the creppy guy who you *just KNOW* has that demoralizing fantasy of "oh me so horny" sexiness or complete submission.

Have you run into Asian Fetish Man?  And now that you're a MILF, do you still?

-Angie in Texas deletes Asian Fetish Men from her email.

Searching for Mr. Kimchi

I grew up in Korea until I was 9 years old.

I didn't do much dating back then.  I guess I have come to a full circle since... I'm not doing much of that now.

While I was in an international boarding school in India, I did initially have crushes on the older Korean boys.  I was in 5th grade.  The boys?  They were in 12th grade.  Yeah... didn't have much of a chance of landing either of those Korean boys.

There was one Korean boy in my class.  I should fully disclose that he did ask me out and I did say no.  In 6th grade.  Not because he was Korean, but because he wasn't my type.  Like I had a type back in 6th grade.  Hah.

In college?  I had a little thing with a Korean-American boy, 2 classes above me.  He was a man-whore promiscuous and had a thing with a few other girls.  When I found out, I was crushed.  Although, that didn't stop me from keep trying.

Kimchi Kommitment : Part 3

(When I wrote the first Kimchi Kommitment post, I had no idea it would turn into a three part series . . . Thank ya'll for indulging me.)

I have two brothers.  My older brother is older by 3 years and my younger brother is younger by 3 years (mom was on that natural, breastfeeding timing thing) . . . Anyhow, as their sister I have seen some of the struggles they face(d) as Asian men in South Central Texas – specifically dating.

My older brother is the epitome of Texas masculinity.  He’s tall (6’ 1”) and big (tipping the scales at 200+ lbs.) – he’d be perfect as a DMZ “mirror”.  In high school he was a star football player and super popular.  Teachers loved his sense of humor, the football coaches admired his drive and strength and his friends knew they could always count on his loyalty.  It must have killed him to be related to me: a nerdy, awkward, funny-acting and annoying little sister. 

Kimchi Kommitment: Part 2 (Kind of . . . )

As the divorced (and practically single) mother to two Asia American/Caucasian children, I struggle.  Specifically as the mother of an Asian American/Caucasian boy, I struggle with the idea of masculinity. 

My father is a traditional man’s man.  As a small child he (and a few of his friends) built an addition to our family’s home.  He did almost, if not all, of the minor repairs to our home, cars and appliances.  He drinks, he smokes and like many men of his generation, he waxes nostalgic by singing old folk songs while he smokes and drinks. 

Kimchi Kommitment

Hello, my name is Angie in Texas . . . and I am a serial dater.  (Okay, not so much now, but I have been in the past.)  When I moved from Texas to DC for college, I broke out into the dating scene like no other.

I spent much of my adolescence hating who I was – short, phenotypically forever foreign and nerdy (I was captain of the Latin Club and Academic Decathlon was my sport!).   When I arrived in DC, I was petite, exotic and smart.  In a span of about 5 weeks, I went from having no life to no time.

But looking back on all those dates, all those guys, I am hard-pressed to think of ONE Asian among them.  Not just Korean, I mean ANY Asians.

Divorce, dating, and dreams

According to my divorce attorney, I am her record for fastest divorce.  We originally filed 3 months ago, Little Nabi and I were forced to relocate so filed again 2 months ago, and I should be officially divorced in 12 days.  Considering the contention and custody issues, this is quite a feat.

Not that divorce is something to be proud of - ask my mother, she sure ain't proud of her divorce-happy daughters - but I couldn't help doing a mental shrug and think, "Hey, what do you expect?  I'm Korean; I like to rush things."  You can almost hear me yelling, while hovering over my attorney as she drafted my divorce papers, "Ppali*, ppali!"  Can't you?

Speaking of rushing...

(* Ppali = "Hurry"  in Korean)