Kimchi Mamas

Roots (part 1)

This is the story of how I ended up living in the US. I think it's pretty long so thus, I put part 1. And due to its sensitive nature, I've opted to leave this post anonymous. I've told snippets of this story to a lot of my friends but never had time to write it all down. What better place to do it than here on Kimchi Mamas?

It all starts with my grandparents. My hal ah buh ji (grandpa) and hal muh ni (grandma) were apparently pretty well off during the pre-Korean war times. My hal ah buh ji owned a mill and my aunts and uncles told me that if you had a mill during those days, that meant that you were pretty well off. My hal ah buh ji, I was told, was also quite a handsome man. He was totally in love with my hal muh ni and he would even take her on his horse to watch the movies when the movies first came out. He was a community leader and a faithful Catholic. He never turned away a hungry person who knocked on his doors. These are all just stories I heard from my aunts and uncles so I'm not sure how much of it is true but they seem to be truthful... 

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the great Dads out there - we love you and are happy to have you in our lives.  You make our lives beautiful and FULL . . . and the not-so-great Dads - you are a part of the goodness and wonder that made us Moms, Mamas, Mommies and Uhmas. 

As a single mother for a very long time, please take the time to reflect on one of today's Postsecrets:

--Angie in Texas wishes the great dads in her life a great day and the not-so great dad in her life better perspective.

What if Metrodad were white?

It's no secret that we here at Kimchi Mamas love us some Metrodad. His posts are by turn insightful or touching, but mostly they make me snort my drink up my nose on a regular basis. If there are "characters" in blog-dom, MD, his lovely BossLady and their absolutely freaking adorable Peanut are some of the most colorful and endearing. Plus, Metrodad is just an all around cool guy.

So I have to say I'm thrilled - THRILLED - that he's getting some serious interest from major networks to turn Metrodad into a television sitcom. Plus a potential book deal! Wheee!

But then I'm very much not thrilled that pushing for an Asian American lead may mean that Metrodad may never hit the small screen at all.

So what do you all think? Should MD push for an Asian American lead in any would-be sitcom? Could we imagine Metrodad as a white guy? Can funny be funny whether the character is white, yellow or purple with pink polka dots? Or should we resign ourselves to the fact that a comedy about an Asian American dad raising his daughter in New York is just too much for "mainstream" America to swallow?

- Nina

"Thank You"

Dad (in Korean): I just got the fax. (Phex soo bat uh suh.)

Me (in Korean): OK. (Eung.)

Dad (in English): Thank you.

Have you ever noticed that your parents or other older Koreans prefer to say "thank you" in English rather than "go ma wau" in Korean?

I swear it's true.  

Why is that?

I mean, there must be a reason.  

Right?

My dad wants me to teach Korean to my children and he was rather disappointed that my husband doesn't speak Korean very well.  It's very clear that the Korean language is very important to him, especially since his grasp of the English language is minimal at best.  He hasn't really had to learn it since he lives in Southern California where there are Korean markets, banks, tailors, accountants, mortgage brokers, doctors, lawyers, shoemakers, mechanics... you get the picture.  

Circumcision

A recent episode over at momversation got me thinking about this issue. 

It seems like circumcision is becoming less and less popular in the US and some are even calling it "mutilation" or "amputation." I had no idea that people were so passionate about this.

I know that in Korea, a lot of boys are circumcised when they are older... like in 5th, 6th grade or even when in high school. I remember watching a Korean movie about a gangster who returns to high school. He and a bunch of other teenage boys at his school get circumcised together. Boy, were they ever in pain. I don't know what the practice is now.

According to Wikipedia "Circumcision in South Korea is largely the result of American cultural and military influence following the Korean War. "

I feel like most Korean men are circumcised and that most Korean women prefer a circumcised penis.  Did I just make a huge huge generalization? (Please no lynching.) 

In Search of Redemption

I'm not the only Korean kid whose parents acted as if becoming a lawyer or a doctor were the only career options. For my parents, the doctor path was the first line of offense. Throughout high school, we were barraged by comments like, Don't you want to become a doctor? Dr. Rosenberg is such a gentleman. He always pays his bills on time. Look how well his wife dresses. Along with some downright dirty, guilt-tripping pleas like, Wouldn't it be nice to have a doctor in the family? Think of how you can help us when we grow old. Imagine if we developed heart problems... They found ways to weave these hints into any random occasion, bearing testimony to their faith in the Chinese water torture method. If you repeat it often enough, my mother once confessed, it will seep in.

Every time I tried to point out that I fainted at the sight of my own blood and that I hated chemistry, my parents dismissed me with a wave of the hand. You can become a doctor if you try hard enough. As if it were only a matter of effort. Their bombardment continued until I declared myself an English major in college. Soon, my parents began telling their customers that English was a perfect major for pre-law.

Talkin' Turkey in Texas

Thanksgiving is almost here!

(I'm using the exclamation point to illustrate my happiness, as in "Yay!  My favorite holiday is here!" and also to express my "Holy-crap Thanksgiving is in a few days!" feelings, too.)

Seriously though, I LOVE Thanksgiving.  I mean what's not to love?   There's food.  It's the beginning of the holiday season.  And it's all about family and friends.  This year it's going to be a "small" affair at my home - we're only calculating 15 people total and several throughout the day for visitors-passing-by to wish good cheer and share a drink . . .

My family has lived in the US for almost 30 years now, so there's turkey (I won't forget to brine the turkey this year, I promise), cornbread stuffing (we're in the South, what can I say?) and homemade cranberry relish (a recipe I learned from my Nath-easteen friends in college - where are the "r"s?).  We're also Korean so there's going to be tons of chapchae, yaki-mandu (my opa would freak if there wasn't) and of course kimchi (lots and lots of kimchi).  And because our family is a hodge-podge of American, Korean AND Mexican, there will also be enchiladas and maybe some fried tacos this year . . .

And like every Thanksgiving, we'll all eat too much, Dad will wrap kimchi around sliced bits of turkey, Mom will wrinkle her nose at my gravy and "tsk, tsk" my country style mashed potatoes with the skin still on (but have 2 helpings) and later there will be lively games of American and Korean style cards (and yes, money will be involved). 

And because there are children/grandchildren running around having a bite of turkey here, a slice of kimchi there and skipping along with yaki-madu in hand, they will get to absorb all of this and for them a plate of turkey and kimchi with a side of enchiladas is and forever will be normal . . . What's not to love?

What's on your Thanksgiving plate?

-Angie in Texas plans to start brining the turkey Wednesday after work . . . and pickling herself later that night.  =)

A Voting Story

I voted by mail weeks ago, so I'm feeling a little left out of all the election mania today. But I've been keeping up with what's going on at the polls around the country by reading blogs. Anyone who thinks the election of Obama will mean the end of racism in the U.S. should definitely read this post about what happened to Papa2Hapa in Florida.

Did you vote today? What was it like for you?

--Weigook Saram

Domestic Violence

This post is near and dear to my heart. 

As a public health student, I learned that Korean American families had one of the highest domestic violence (DV) rates among all ethnic groups in America.  Makes sense.  Historic male chauvinism combined with rampant alcoholism among a generation who grew up during a war (or the aftermaths) seems to be a healthy recipe for DV to thrive. Sprinkle it with a fiery temper and the passion (oh the passion!) that seems to be a part of Korean culture.  It may be a recipe for disaster.

Recently I read some stories here.  They are heart wrenching.

Kimchi Kommitment: Part 2 (Kind of . . . )

As the divorced (and practically single) mother to two Asia American/Caucasian children, I struggle.  Specifically as the mother of an Asian American/Caucasian boy, I struggle with the idea of masculinity. 

My father is a traditional man’s man.  As a small child he (and a few of his friends) built an addition to our family’s home.  He did almost, if not all, of the minor repairs to our home, cars and appliances.  He drinks, he smokes and like many men of his generation, he waxes nostalgic by singing old folk songs while he smokes and drinks.