Kimchi Mamas

Anti-Asian Racism vs Institutional

I had an interesting conversation with my son about the anti-Asian violence in the news in recent weeks. We were having different reactions to it, and I appreciate that we respect each other enough that we could just talk about it as adults.

My reaction was one of pity, irritation, some anger, and flashback emotions to my childhood. I finally published the poem I wrote 3 decades ago in college on the Kimchi Mamas blog. I grew up in a mostly white area, and I remember one student from Puerto Rico, and two Black families growing up.  The students who terrorized me the most were two Black girls and many white boys. I was bullied and teased in elementary school. Daily. Marginalized in middle school. Respected finally by high school, but seen as "other" by most of my peers.  This continued through college, and even my early working years.

This life experience is what drew me to California in the first place. A Japanese family that I grew up with back East moved to Cali for the same reason, and I remember them writing my (white) parents telling them the difference they saw in their youngest child's socialization after moving. How the teasing finally ended and he could just be himself at last.

My son's reaction is much milder. Yes, the attacks are bad, but it's not institutional, is it? He has a point. While there have been serious attacks, and deaths even, these are rare compared to what our Black friends, neighbors, colleagues have to deal with. I've never worried for my life when being pulled over by a police officer--I see them as protectors, not a harmful force. I've never had to distrust doctors, hiring managers, authority in general based on my race. Based on my gender, Yes indeed.  But not my race.  Mostly it's the social interactions where the racism issue has come up, when people assume I am foreign or don't speak English. Minor indeed.

Longer version of this post on my personal blog.

 

Five White Boys

The bigger boys loved to taunt me
in their ripped jeans and expensive sneakers.
They walked like cowboys from old westerns 
pelvis forward, shoulders squared, hands on their hips
where their holsters should have been.

Irritated with their own lives, 
they wanted to get back at somebody for it--anybody would do.
My Korean face stood out from the others,
so they picked me.

They would stalk me on the way home from school,
where no teachers could stop them.
I had to walk just one short block from the bus stop to my home.
One block with them shadowing my steps.
I didn’t need to turn around to know they were there.

Chiiiink. Jaaaaaap. Goooooook.
I could hear the glee in their voices as they drew out the vowels
to savor the taste of the words.
Whenever I flinched, they snickered.

I imagined their faces behind me; 
fanged creatures, with claws and horns.
I knew if I ran, they would chase me, howling:
huge dobermans growling and snapping at the corners of my schoolbag.

Deliberately, I turned to face them.
Rotating my body first, I brought my eyes up last, 
trying to delay the confrontation.

I saw one red-haired boy, freckled from the sun;
One blond boy, blue eyes glaring through thick glasses.
The other three had brown hair of varying shades and lengths.
One wore a baseball cap wedged on his uncombed head.
Another clamped his lips over braces, which bulged out anyway.
The last was the ringleader, skinniest and meanest.

My narrow eyes of black agate glared at their wide brown and blue ones.
My golden tan contrasted with their pale faces.

I saw them nudge each other and point at me,
their smirks becoming uncertain frowns.
They tripped over their untied laces 
and elbowed each other in the ribs while trying to back away.
They never expected a nine-year old to stand up to them.

Five white boys with nothing better to do.

--Jomama

The Sea Women

I have never been to Cheju-Do, but am looking forward to finally seeing "Korea's Hawaii" this summer when my family goes. It has been a longtime dream to bring my mixed race children to see where their mother comes from. I had almost given up on dragging my reluctant teens, when one of them actually expressed interest in going. I signed us faster than he could finish wrapping his seaweed around his rice!

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/photo-booth/sea-women-of-south-korea?intcid=mod-most-popular

--Jomama

How to Trick or Treat

I know I am late getting this out, but even on the East Coast, this may not be too late.  I was speaking to an coworker whose family had moved here from elsewhere in the world.  They've been here a few years, and each year I asked if they were taking their son trick-or-treating.  The mom wondered if he wasn't getting too old anyway, as he was already 8 years old.

Heck, back East, I remember trick-or-treating well into high school, but I've heard some parents on the west coast cut their kids off at middle school.  And I do, as a homeowner, find it odd when roving gangs of teenage boys taller than I am ring the bell after 9pm still looking for candy.  ("Get a job!")

But 8?  That's still in the heart of the age of trick-or-treat.  My kids are beside themselves anticipating the candy binge that begins on this last day of October, to continue through the Christmas holidays.

Anyway, talking with my friend, I realized it might be a little intimidating to join in this all-American holiday tradition if you did not grow up with it, so I wrote up some pointers for her.  I am publishing here for new Kimchi Mamas who may not be familiar with how this all works if you are new to the holiday.  Everyday stuff that most American/Canadian parents take for granted:

• When to go?  Between dusk and 8pm.  After 8pm is older kids/teenagers
• Where?      A neighborhood of homes.  Skip apartment or condo complexes--they don't get much traffic, and are usually not prepared.  And you do not have to live in the neighborhood--any child in costume is welcome.
• What equipment?  Costume of course, bag to hold candy, and a flashlight is a good idea.
• Which houses?  Porchlights on, and halloween decorations are a good sign.  Skip if the house looks dark.
• Does the parent go with them?  Usually yes, especially children under 10.  You can stay on the sidewalk, or go with them up to the house.  The key is your child should be in front, facing the door when the it opens.
• What happens next?  Child should say loud and clear "Trick or Treat!" and open their bag.  Parents do not need to speak.  The person who answers the door may ask your child what their costume is, so prepare them for that.  They may drop in candy or offer a bowl the child can pull candy out of.  I remind my kids to say Thank You, before they run to the next house to pillage.
• What else might happen? Some adults get into Halloween and try to scare the kids a little, so beware of that--if the house looks too scary, skip it.
• How many houses should we go to?  As many as you or your child have stamina for.  
• What do we do when we get home?  Inspect candy for opened or unwrapped--toss these.  Remove anything that your family is allergic to.  And your call on how much candy to let them eat.  At our house, we dole it out over the coming weeks.

Happy Halloween everyone!

--Jomama

Kimchi Mamas cook with Kimchi Chronicles

In the interest of full disclosure, after our review of the Kimchi Chronicles TV series in June, Kimchi Mamas bloggers were offered free copies of the Kimchi Chronicles Cookbook by Marja Vongerichten.  Below are reviews from Jomama and Shinyung:

----------------------------------------------------

I was delighted to open up the Kimchi Chronicles by Marja Vongerichten.  The book is heftier than my other 2 Korean cookbooks, and has my favorite features of both.  LOTS of pictures of the finished dishes, and even a couple of before and after.  She also tells stories throughout, beginning with her personal adoption story, and explanations of the context of the dishes and her family life featuring her chef husband and radiant daughter.  Oh, and neighbor Hugh Jackman makes an appearance and a few mentions too!  Even if you had no interest in cooking at all, anyone interested in Korean culture, or adoption, or family life, would enjoy this book for all the narration throughout.

But if you didn't want to cook, or eat, then you'd be missing out.  This is a great collection of recipes!  From traditional Korean dishes, to adapted American style classics.  (Why had I never thought to put kimchi on a hot dog?  I love sauerkraut!  Oooh, I just invented a new recipe: kimchi reuben--thanks for the inspiration, Marja!)  I did find the American cheese a little odd in kimbap, but I can see it in soups as she suggests.

Thanks to all the extra information in each chapter, and every recipe, I learned a lot about Korean culture and cuisine that I never knew.  As a Korean adoptee myself (but without the successful birth mother reunion, chef husband, and movie-star neighbor--other than those little details, we're just the same!), I appreciated her "outsider's" consideration in providing so much background information for those of us who did not grow up in Korean kitchens.  I love that she included recipes for even simple things like sesame oil + salt + pepper.  A native Korean would probably never think of providing that, but I found it very valuable.  I've had this sauce, but wasn't sure what was in it.

Jay Smooth on Racism

Excellent argument on confronting racism, from Hip-Hopper Jay Smooth. I might have to buy an iTune and learn his music! --Jomama

Giants vs. Indians, Korean-style

Special opportunity for San Francisco Bay area Kimchi Mamas!  Looks like Shin-Soo Choo is coming to town with the Cleveland Indians, and there will be some special entertainment and giveaways.  Jomama and Mary Choi have already booked their tickets--hope some more of you might join us!

To purchase tickets, click this link.  Between Shin-Soo and the Giants, I'm not sure which team I'll be rooting for! (And yes, the Cleveland Indians cartoon logo of a Native American does make me cringe)

Some of the proceeds will be supporting local Korean groups, like AKASF (which I have recently joined, but not yet had the pleasure of meeting), KAPS, Korean Center, and other community groups serving Korean populations in the Bay Area.   

Go Giants/Indians!

--Jomama

 

How Korean is your Thanksgiving?

I found myself at the Korean supermarket this week, as my youngest son has requested kalbi for his birthday and I needed to restock.  It was busy, as is to be expected at any grocery the day before Thanksgiving, but I was struck by the difference in focus.  Instead of aisles full of breadcrumbs, and piles of pumpkin pies by the door, the store was full of a different autumn fare.  The take out deli section of the store had a dish I'd never seen before--sweet potatoes in some kind of glaze, with white cream dotted on it.  What I was able to glean from the counter conversation was that this was just for Thanksgiving. 

In the picture below are some of the things I picked up.  Not necessarily for Turkey Day, but just autumn foods in general: persimmons on top, chestnuts in the middle, duk (rice noodles) on each side, and rice cakes on the bottom.  Definitely not what I grew up with back East.

It got me to wondering just how Korean the Thanksgiving meal is for Kimchi Mamas?  Chusok was back in September, and I know that is a full on Korean feast.  Is Thanksgiving more of the same?  Or is there just a bowl of kimchi on the table, next to the stuffing?

--Jomama

 

 

Colorblind kids

This post about a cute Halloween story on my personal blog reminded me of a story my Mom told years ago, that illustrated beautifully how colorblind (to race) children can be.  She taught 3rd grade in a public school back East, and the area was largely Caucasian.  Our white family with 2 adopted daughters from Korea stood out.

One day when I was visiting my mother at school (I would hang out with her when my elementary school was closed on a day her district was open), we were on line in the hallway waiting to go to lunch.  A fellow teacher was walking her class past us, when one of the students grabbed her hand, pointed to me, and asked who I was.  The other teacher, Ms. F, explained that I was Mrs. C's daughter, and visiting for the day.

The astounded child responded, rather loudly, that "that girl" couldn't possibly be Mrs. C's daughter... The mortified teacher moved the class quickly out of earshot, and took the verbose child aside to have this private conversation:

OK, Johnny, I assure you "that girl" is indeed Mrs. C's daughter.  Why don't you think it could be?

Ms. F prepared to have a discussion about race and family.  Instead, this was the response Johnny gave; 

Mrs. C has a son who taught us physical education last year.  She's too OLD to have a daughter that young!

Gotta LOVE how colorblind young children can be.  Not AGE-blind, though, I guess!

It's Open Thread Thursday!  What's on your mind?

--Jomama

Korean Movie Night: The Man From Nowhere

Hi Everyone,

Don't fall over stunned on seeing my 3rd post in a week!  This arrived in my inbox today, from a Korean Adoptee maillist I am on for the San Francisco Bay area:

To read more about the movie, click here.  I have not seen it yet, so can't offer a review, but there are some on the bottom of the page.  The short storyline here is that a man gets pulled (back?) into a drug crime situation when a neighbor and her daughter get kidnapped.  The star is Won Bin, and he is, ahem, attractive.  It sounds fairly violent, so not for the whole family.

For those like me, whose Korean is weak, the movie is subtitled in English.

The movie is actually playing in Cupertino tonight through Thursday, November 4th.  To see movie times, click here and select "AMC Independent" and the date for which you want showtimes.  The gal who sent out the email said all are welcome at the AKASF event, whether adoptees or not, so consider coming to their times.  I may try to make it, but can't commit.

Let's do this like the Book Review this summer.  I'll try to see it this week.  If you've already seen it, let us know your thoughts.  If you have not seen it, then come back and comment when you have.

Have a great weekend everyone!

--Jomama