Kimchi Mamas

Ask A Korean (Community): What Should We Name Our Boy?

In the summer, I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant. After the initial, "What?", we've settled into being overjoyed and excited and can't wait to meet our little baby boy due in early Spring. With our two girls, we've given them names that either reflect their unique heritage (Korean-Italian-Irish-English-German mix) or family names as a tribute to a beloved relative. This means that each of our girls has two middle names to accomodate our crazy naming criteria (but so do I and so does my husband).

We'd love to give our boy a Korean middle name, but having grown in Hawaii, being half-Korean and being a 5th generation American, I don't speak Korean. Nor was a raised with any cultural understanding of how Koreans are named. My relatives have names like Wilbert, Catherine, Esther, Miriam, Evelyn, James, and Flora—arguably traditional English names. And my family surnames are Kim and Choi. I don't want either of those to be a middle name for our boy.

I know that Korean names can be loaded with meaning. I know people might consult naming specialists to ensure the best name possible. I know Koreans give their children names of virtues they hope their children will have. I know families have a lot to say about it. That's all well and good, but not so important to me. We just want a nice name with a meaning that speaks to us.

Can you help? What are your suggestions for a boy's middle name? Do you have any favorite combinations of words? Any favorite virtuous names that won't be too much a burden for a boy to carry? Please help or else we might be naming our boy after Rain/Bi. (I don't mind the association, but my husband might!) We'll consider them all, I promise!

—Stefania Pomponi Butler

Silicon Valley Asian American Voices Project: Immigrant Issues Affect Us All No Matter Where We Live

Even if you don't live in Silicon Valley, I'm hoping that as a Kimchi Mamas reader connected to Asian culture you will take a look at the trailer for the Silicon Valley Asian American Voices video project. The documentary follows the stories—the successes, hardships, and hopes—of three Asian American immigrants in Silicon Valley. Despite struggling through language, cultural, and health care barriers, these individuals readily work to shape the local community. This piece explores the strengthening of community through the support of immigrant populations.

These issues reach far beyond Silicon Valley—the policy initiatives associated with the project impact Asian immigrants and their family members across the United States—which is why I share it here.

Please take a moment to watch it--no matter where you live or where you are from, I think you will be able to relate to the stories being told. 

If you are in the Bay Area and would like to come to a screening of the documentary you can find all the info on the Silicon Valley Asian American Voices project website. It also screens at the Asian American Film Festival on March 20.

Please feel free to share the trailer on your blog, Facebook, or on Twitter. (Here's the URL if that's easier: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjKBzZv7s7g)

-Stefania Pomponi Butler

DIsclosure: AACI, the organization behind Silicon Valley Asian American Voices is a client of mine.

Kimchi Mama guest post by Michelle from Wife and Mommy

Please welcome guest poster Michelle from Wife and Mommy! I met Michelle at Blogher '09 and knew immediately after having lunch with her that she needed to tell us her story. She shares an aspect of her Korean-American life here and I am sure many of us can relate. —Stefania Pomponi Butler

Of all the areas in which I feel insecure about raising my children, exposing them to their Korean culture is the most worrisome for me.  I am uncertain how to teach them the traditions and nuances of the beautiful, rich culture that my own parents taught me.

I’m a first generation Korean-American—I was born in the U.S.A., effectively beating out my entire family to citizenship.  Growing up, I felt split between two cultures.  At home, I was a dutiful Korean daughter.  I served my father Korean meals that my mom prepared.  I did as my parents expected, studying hard and bringing home good grades (for the most part).  I played the piano and violin.  I followed my father’s rule, even though I internally rebelled against my father’s attempt to have us speak only Korean in the house.  

My American persona emerged when I was at school and with friends.  I eschewed Korean culture and did everything I could to forget my Korean-ness.  I was embarrassed by my parents’ odd Korean manners.  I didn’t want to bring my friends over lest they smell our kimchi kitchen.  I was timid in asking my friends to remove their shoes upon entering our home.  I ignored Korean peers at school and went out of my way to not be associated with them.

My exposure to the Korean culture was simply what I absorbed in my day-to-day living.  I managed to avoid the dreaded Saturday Korean School that my sister was made to attend, but now I can’t read and write Hangul.  I made no effort to learn Korean customs nor have Korean friends despite my parents’ desire for me to do both.  

I married a white-bread American guy and we now have three beautiful multicultural children.  My desire to know more about Korean culture has increased in an effort to teach it to my kids.  Since they aren’t immersed in Korean culture in their home as I was, how will they ever learn about it?  I am not Korean enough to adequately educate them.  I lean on my parents to show their grandchildren, but they live overseas now and we only see them once a year or so.  

So I try.  We go to the Asian grocery store as often as we go to the regular supermarket.  I attempt to make my favorite Korean dishes so their young tongues can develop an appreciation for the delicious flavors of my childhood.  We have dolls dressed in traditional hanbok.  We read Korean folk tales and eat a lot of rice.

For now, I hope it’s enough.  Maybe I’ll see if I can find a Korean school for them to attend once they are older.  

***

Michelle is a Wife, Mommy, former school teacher, writer, and procrastinator (among other things). 

Michelle's parents immigrated to the U.S. a year before she was born, thus giving her the distinction of being the first American citizen in the entire extended family!  She grew up in the DC Metro Area, where she still lives with her white-bread midwestern boy, The Husband, and their three children:  Bito, Cupcake and BabyMuffin.

She writes about her life at Wife and Mommy.

Where is web 2.0 freedom of information (and Al Gore) for journalists captured in North Korea?

Phil Bronstein of the San Francisco Chronicle asks some very pointed questions in his most recent post. Ones that I would like answered.

Where is the media coverage? Where is the outrage? I know we're dealing with a total nutjob administration, but it's been two weeks. Laura Ling and Euna Lee need to be returned home safely. Can't we just give Kim Jong-Il a case of Courvoisier and some new high-heeled kicks (I'm sure Prince has some cast-offs) and call it a day?

—Stefania Pomponi Butler

Stuff Korean Moms Like: Stockpiling

"This from a woman who has no uterus," says my sister.

Kimchi Mama Stefania Pomponi Butler is in Hawaii visiting her mom and coveting her stockpiles of feminine products, toilet paper, shampoo, soap, pasta, and cereal.

Happy Holidays from the Kimchi Mamas

Kimchi Mamas WTF of the Week (an occassional series): Adultery is against the law in Korea?

Was reading with fascination today about Ok So-ri and her eight-month suspended sentence for cheating on her husband (who sued her) with some pop star. She blamed a loveless marriage and tried to get the law overturned saying it was a violation of human rights.  Apparently South Korea is the one of the few remaining non-Muslim countries with laws on the books stating that adultery is a criminal offense. I had no idea!

--Stefania Pomponi Butler

Blogher '09 Chicago Call for Ideas and Speakers

Passing along this message from BlogHer founder Elisa Camahort Page for those interested in submitting ideas or speaking at BlogHer '09:

BlogHer is passionate about delivering the most inclusive and diverse experience to our conference-goers that we possibly can, including (and particularly) on our speaking roster. Not only do we look for diverse speakers, but we have a commitment to bring new speakers to BlogHer. Every single year we aim to feature new corners of the blogosphere and to have the majority of speakers at BogHer be new and fresh voices, focusing more on those than on “stars.”

We recently announced our dates and location for BlogHer '09:

Announcing the Dates and Location for BlogHer '09, our 5th Anniversary Conference!

In addition, we issued our Call for Ideas for BlogHer ’09 next July. The Call for Ideas is open until November 24th, and people can submit themselves or others as speakers, or just propose ideas for the kind of panels and content they’d like to see. More info is here:

Announcing the BlogHer '09 Call for Ideas

We are looking for a few community leaders to help us get the word out past the active members who visit BlogHer.com every day.

And that's why I posted her note here. I hope you smart, savvy Kimchi Mamas readers will submit a speaking topic and present it!  Please contact Elisa at the post above.

--stefania pomponi butler

Hats

The other day I literally collapsed from exhaustion.  I was in bed asleep by 10 pm, I hadn't done many of the things on my to-do list and when I woke up the next morning, I was still feeling tired . . . Maybe it was because I was on my period?  Maybe it's because I usually don't see the bed before 12:30 am? Maybe it's because I see the early side of 6 am almost every morning?  Go to work not just full-time, but all the time?  Try to be mom when I'm home?  Cook?  Driver?  Maid? Try to be helpful daughter/translator/liaison? Try to be great girlfriend to HSBF when he's in town? Try to be sympathetic sister?  And BFF to my friends, for whom I have soooo little precious time?  These are only some of the hats I (and YOU) wear.

Kimchi Mamas WTF of the week

Really, Spanish basketball team?  Really? That's how you do?

I just have one thing to say: Fuck all y'all.

Stefania Pomponi Butler doesn't like to mince words.